be

I've been reading this really dorky book about returning to America after spending time overseas, especially in regards to living in impoverished areas and such and came across this passage. It's just one of many that I feel like were written from the depths of my heart.

"Another prominent feature of reverse culture shock is the feeling, perhaps the reality, of having to start over. As described in chapter 1, nothing is really familiar during this period: not the people, not the places, not the way of life. Very little comes naturally to you and virtually nothing is routine. Everything you do- from emptying the garbage to driving to the supermarket to sending a fax- requires your close, conscious attention. The mundane, the minutiae of everyday life, require so much of your energy and time that there is little left for anything else... On the physical/emotional level, being overwhelmed means you are tired much of the time (check) and may have little resistance to flus or colds (check); you may lose your appetite or indulge in binge eating (check); you may be irritable and find it hard to concentrate or relax (major check); you may have dramatic mood swings and fitful sleep (check). To be blunt, you're not much fun to be around (check?)"

Reading this was a slap in the face. But also a weight lifted. Sure it makes me sound like some lunatic but it's also freeing that the things I'm experiencing here back at school aren't super strange. They're part of the process. But also part of the process is to seek God, as is a part of every life process. I was SO ENCOURAGED by getting to go to my home church, Midtown Fellowship, last night for the first time since April. It's my home, it's my family, it's Jesus in my life. There the message crazily (or not so crazily) paralleled an excerpt of another book I've been reading, Come Away My Beloved. God doesn't want us to be overwhelmed, no matter if we use adjusting as an excuse or not. He just wants us to be.

These excerpts are from the passage "From Center to Circumference"
"Lo, you seek revival. You do well; only do not seek it in the energy of the flesh. For the flesh is intent upon its own interests; yes, it lusts after those things that perish with the using. I would have you seek Me in Spirit; then I will come down upon you in all My fullness and will hold back nothing of all that I desire to do for you. For My ways are hidden from those who seek Me in the energy of the flesh. I am in you, yes, for this very purpose above all other purposes, have I taken up My abode WITHIN you; that My Spirit might be diffused through your spirit, and that we might be one even as I am one with the Father.
I in you, and you in Me, that we might be unified in thought and in action: in devotion and in purpose, that we might move continually not as two, but as ONE.
I ask you not to do but to BE.

For I do not intend to strip you of earthly ties and joys, but I long to have you give Me the center of your life that My blessing may flow out to the circumference. For My Spirit moves not from the circumference to the center, but from the center to the circumference."