bless

Rewind to Friday afternoon. Class is out. Rush is about to start. I had to pick up some nail polishes for recruitment so I figured I'd just stop by a dollar store on the way to the sorority house. I was wearing my nice white sundress (only worn one other time for rush sophomore year), gold sandals, pearls, hair and makeup done perfectly, freshly showered and looking my very best. I pulled into the parking lot with my air-conditioned car just running through the motions of a quick errand, unaware of what was just about to hit me.

I quickly grabbed a basket and piled up the $1 nail polishes and hurried to the register. I placed my basket on the counter and waited at the register for the man before me to finish. Something made me stop in my tracks. Surrounded by sorority women, college life, beautiful houses in my neighborhood, I had almost stopped believing poverty was an issue in Columbia. Compared to Africa things are beyond perfect. Except that this belief soon came crashing down. The man in front of me in line was wearing torn up shoes, dirty gym shorts and a soiled t-shirt. He appeared "normal" like a husband who just finished with yard work. But his smell, his demeanor suggested otherwise. With nine cans of tuna fish on the conveyor belt, it hit me that this man could be homeless. He could only afford cans of tuna but then I saw that he couldn't even afford that. With one swipe of the debit card, the man still owed $1.30. Outraged and embarrassed, the man started yelling "what do you mean it's not enough? it's just food! it's just food!" The man didn't even have enough money to buy himself nine cans of tuna. In that moment the world froze, and what the cashier did next makes me believe I looked into the very eyes of Jesus at the Dollar Tree. The cashier looked at the man, paused, then simply said, "it's my fault, you're fine. I got it." There obviously wasn't a mistake. But the cashier opened his own wallet, took out his last dollar bill and gathered up some change and put it in the cash register. Just like that, the ordeal was over and the man left with his cans. Disgusted, sick to the stomach, hating myself, I stepped up next in line, paid for my 20 nail polishes and left.

I prayed for a broken heart for people in America, to be exposed to American poverty, and before I could even see it coming it had slapped me across the face. I felt like I had to do something, to fix it. I jumped in the car and found the man walking along side of the road. I pulled over in a parking lot and with my too-expensive wallet I was going to give it all to this man. I wanted him to eat, to sleep safely, to be cared for. I rolled down my window and held it all out but he just looked around franticly, not all there, and hurried away. I couldn't help this man. My chest tightened with tears welling up out of no where, and I lost it. I looked up and no joke, saw the billboard drawing awareness to the American hunger problem. Hello. Prayers answered. Done right? Not one bit. My meltdown just melted even more when my mind started racing. Why God? Why am I driving this car? Why does he have to walk? Why don't I eat tuna for every meal? Why am I driving to a mansion to invite other girls to our mansion? Why did I just pay for nail polish out of my too-expensive wallet? Why do I have so MUCH? It's not fair. In that moment I wanted to pack up everything, sell it all and just get out of here. I considered buying a tent and just living in that to go to school. I was done. I was disgusted with American consumerism, and how I felt like I was just drinking the kool aid.

In that moment, God said "Stop it Amy. Get a grip. Can't you see? It's what I've been trying to show you all along. I'm in control. I have a plan. That man with the tuna, I love him. That man at the register, I love him. And you, I love you. For the man with the tuna and the Dollar Tree man, I provide for them. And you, I've blessed you to bless. Give freely. Be my hands and feet." In that moment of anger and confusion with myself, God brought clarity. Peace in understanding.

"From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." Luke 12:48

If you have a job, it's so that you can bless your boss by working diligently and contributing to the success of the company.
If you get to go to college, it's so that you can be a blessing to your professors, attending class and showing them respect.
If you have a family, it's so that you can love them how Christ loves us, encouraging them and walking in life with them.
If you have a Bible, it's so that you can spend time in the Word of God, learning about Him and growing in deeper relationship with the God of the Universe, falling more in love with Jesus Christ who sacrificed Himself for all mankind.
If you know Christ, it's so that you can spread His hope and His love to all people of all nations that rescues them from eternal hell and sets them free as children of God to love Him.

If you can read this, you have been blessed to bless.