What a journey this has been already. If you would've told me six months ago that this is where I'd be, I would've told you that you're crazy. Ever since I returned home from Zambia, I thought I'd have to either give up my passion for Africa or my apparent calling to the fashion industry. But He knew.
God knew all along that He had placed these passions in my heart to come together to bring Him the most glory. Through a last-minute fashion show volunteer position, I discovered that this dream placed in my heart of connecting women through textiles in order to alleviate poverty wasn't so far-fetched. When I first thought of the idea and shared it with a few people, I prefaced it with "I know this probably sounds insane." I really felt like God planted this idea in my mind: to share my knowledge of fashion and sewing, employing women in poverty in Africa to make garments to be sold to Americans. Women across cultural boundaries, across economic statuses aren't that different at all. And that was the primary vision for this whole thing. That through the purchase of a garment, it's not just giving money to a woman but it's giving her hope while recognizing that you two aren't too different at all. She was born in Africa, you were born in America. This characteristic is one we can't control or change but rather one we react to and shape our lives around. The woman across the ocean still suffers from insecurity, still wants to be loved, admired and adored. She still values deep friendships and faith. She also suffers and goes through seasons of intense hardship. Maybe this isn't in the form of cancer but it could be losing a child to a disease or her husband to AIDS before his 40th birthday. The heartbreak is just as intense.
After connecting with organizations from the cultural awareness fashion show who seem to already be living my dream, I couldn't erase the thought in my mind. The "Aha" moment is still so vivid in my mind. I was at Jimmy Johns (typical college student, right?) to grab a late dinner with some other fashion show volunteers and was just bursting at the seams. I didn't feel hunger, I only felt this overwhelming urge to scream to the world that God knew! He knew how to merge these passions together to make His name famous. I called my parents in that Jimmy Johns and spilled my guts- I just had to share with someone! I can't remember anything specifically that I said but I will forever remember that feeling of complete joy and fulfillment in Christ.
The rest of last semester was just a tug-of-war, between discerning my desires and God's desires for this. Do I team up with someone else? Do I work stateside? Do I give it all up? Do I attempt it all on my own? But God was incredibly faithful in His promises to me, speaking so sweetly to my heart and making things clearer by the day. On January 21 of this year I remember sitting in my room with my roommate just throwing out this crazy idea of starting a nonprofit on my own with the freedom to sculpt the organization into what I really felt God wanted, in the location I felt called to. We threw out a few names, screamed a bit (well, I did at least), and that's when the decision was made! Clothed in Hope was beginning. I didn't know how, didn't have any means to make it happen but I know that there's nothing more exciting than trusting God with everything. So that I did, and that I'm still doing today.
It's been one month. Already God's provision has blown me away. I'm watching these doors fly open and all I have to do is walk through them. All I have to do is say "yes" to what He's calling me to. Already I've sold tshirts and have an overwhelming amount of orders, already I have an etsy account (clothedinhope.etsy.com), already I have a bank account under CLOTHED IN HOPE, already I've filed Articles of Incorporation, already I have a working website (clothedinhope.org), already I've been asked for the method of donations. ALREADY! It's been one month... that's it.
If you don't have chills, I have enough for you right now. I wake up everyday so humbled that God's chosen to use ME for this task. He's chosen to use me to "defend the weak and the fatherless, uphold the cause of the poor and oppressed; rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked." He's chosen some 21 year old sorority girl, who had a crazy freshman year but was rescued by her Savior, and who has failed time and time again, to carry His name to lift up the name of Jesus to the people He loves. It's hard to think about all of this sometimes. Scary even. But I can rest knowing that God's faithfulness endures forever. If it's the plan, it'll happen according to His will in His timing. I am not a part of this equation whatsoever. I'm merely a facilitator of His dream; His dream to see all people return to the cross in loving Him completely.
in awe.
&
fully His.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Witness
God desires for us to worship Him to glorify Him out of JOY and THANKSGIVING, not duty or obligation. No praise will come flowing out genuinely if we don't grasp this. If you've been around the "church scene" you may be thinking duh, heard this already. But think about it! It's a constant battle to reject that insecurity that may slip in by not "doing enough" or by looking at your identity in the Lord and someone else's and seeing dissonance. Let me preface this post by saying that this is by no means an excuse to sit back and be lazy... we shouldn't want to be anyways! But instead, it's a proclamation of freedom from the burden of busyness.
In John Piper's Let the Nations Be Glad, he writes, "God is glorified precisely when we are satisfied in Him- when we delight in His presence, when we like to be around Him, when we treasure His fellowship. This is an utterly life-changing discovery. It frees us to pursue our joy in God and God to pursue His glory in us because they are not two different pursuits. God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him."
Now usually I read this famous phrase of John's, a message of the Lord of course, and think that it means the "better" my Christian walk is, the "closest" I feel to the Lord, the more capable I am of being most satisfied in Him. But it hit me last Wednesday. I can only be MOST satisfied in Him when I recognize my extreme insignificance in this world.
As a Greek at Carolina, we have a unique ministry that has proven to be such a blessing to me and to thousands of Greek students here. It's called Greek Impact and meets once a month with a youth group style meeting: game, prizes, speaker, usually a fun video too. This month a fraternity man who's now on staff with Greeks at UT came all the way to speak to us and share a beautiful message. I can't remember the details of this message, couldn't even give you a full summary because I was just praying my guts out. As a community, we've faced persecution like never before in our Greek system. Not beatings and torture persecution, but just feeling a bit isolated, unable to initiate in the outreach things like we used to. And it's every house it seems. No more praying in chapter meetings, no more verses in chapter meetings, and the list goes on. So needless to say we've all felt a bit ineffective this semester. A war is being waged because we're all standing boldly in our faith, and satan doesn't particularly like that. Anyways, I diverge. I doubted the "success" of our meeting because of this barrier that's been built up against us. I didn't think the meeting was capable of producing fruit. I feared the blunt-ness of the speaker, thinking it would offend and turn away these 300-some people who came. I'm not a fan of the Gospel all wrapped in a bow so this attitude was a bit unusual for me, but Wednesday I just wasn't feeling too hopeful.
As some of you may have read in my Zambia blog, God has continually met me when I feel most inadequate. He performs miracles to show that He's the One to be glorified, not the actions or the carriers of those actions. God loves surprising us! And that He did on Wednesday night in my own sorority house. With every head bowed, we closed in prayer but Hank, the speaker, did something I don't think we've done before. He did the alter-call thing, asking students to just look up at him if they wanted a breakthrough in their lives, if they wanted to give it all up to our Savior. With that he paused and then spoke, "welcome to the family of God." I had to grin a little bit. God moved and brought a life into the light when I was doubting! So incredibly powerful and faithful! ...Of course it's not enough to stop there. Over the next few minutes with every head bowed, perfectly silent in the room except for maybe a few sniffles we heard "welcome to the family of God; welcome to the family of God; welcome to the family of God." And it continued. I thought for sure this was just to hype people up. To fake it that other people were making that decision just so others felt comfortable to do so. But this wasn't the case at all!! Every single "welcome to the family of God" brought chills up my arms, tears to my eyes, and a heart bursting with praise for the Sovereign Lord.
Twenty Five. If you didn't catch that, 25!!!, students took the step of faith to invite Jesus to perform a breakthrough in their lives. And in that moment, God was glorified. Not because I was doing anything. But because I was nothing; merely a witness. Because I was marveling in the vastness of His splendor, in awe of His timing and His miracles. God is MOST glorified in us when we recognize we're nothing and that He's everything.
incredible.
In John Piper's Let the Nations Be Glad, he writes, "God is glorified precisely when we are satisfied in Him- when we delight in His presence, when we like to be around Him, when we treasure His fellowship. This is an utterly life-changing discovery. It frees us to pursue our joy in God and God to pursue His glory in us because they are not two different pursuits. God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him."
Now usually I read this famous phrase of John's, a message of the Lord of course, and think that it means the "better" my Christian walk is, the "closest" I feel to the Lord, the more capable I am of being most satisfied in Him. But it hit me last Wednesday. I can only be MOST satisfied in Him when I recognize my extreme insignificance in this world.
As a Greek at Carolina, we have a unique ministry that has proven to be such a blessing to me and to thousands of Greek students here. It's called Greek Impact and meets once a month with a youth group style meeting: game, prizes, speaker, usually a fun video too. This month a fraternity man who's now on staff with Greeks at UT came all the way to speak to us and share a beautiful message. I can't remember the details of this message, couldn't even give you a full summary because I was just praying my guts out. As a community, we've faced persecution like never before in our Greek system. Not beatings and torture persecution, but just feeling a bit isolated, unable to initiate in the outreach things like we used to. And it's every house it seems. No more praying in chapter meetings, no more verses in chapter meetings, and the list goes on. So needless to say we've all felt a bit ineffective this semester. A war is being waged because we're all standing boldly in our faith, and satan doesn't particularly like that. Anyways, I diverge. I doubted the "success" of our meeting because of this barrier that's been built up against us. I didn't think the meeting was capable of producing fruit. I feared the blunt-ness of the speaker, thinking it would offend and turn away these 300-some people who came. I'm not a fan of the Gospel all wrapped in a bow so this attitude was a bit unusual for me, but Wednesday I just wasn't feeling too hopeful.
As some of you may have read in my Zambia blog, God has continually met me when I feel most inadequate. He performs miracles to show that He's the One to be glorified, not the actions or the carriers of those actions. God loves surprising us! And that He did on Wednesday night in my own sorority house. With every head bowed, we closed in prayer but Hank, the speaker, did something I don't think we've done before. He did the alter-call thing, asking students to just look up at him if they wanted a breakthrough in their lives, if they wanted to give it all up to our Savior. With that he paused and then spoke, "welcome to the family of God." I had to grin a little bit. God moved and brought a life into the light when I was doubting! So incredibly powerful and faithful! ...Of course it's not enough to stop there. Over the next few minutes with every head bowed, perfectly silent in the room except for maybe a few sniffles we heard "welcome to the family of God; welcome to the family of God; welcome to the family of God." And it continued. I thought for sure this was just to hype people up. To fake it that other people were making that decision just so others felt comfortable to do so. But this wasn't the case at all!! Every single "welcome to the family of God" brought chills up my arms, tears to my eyes, and a heart bursting with praise for the Sovereign Lord.
Twenty Five. If you didn't catch that, 25!!!, students took the step of faith to invite Jesus to perform a breakthrough in their lives. And in that moment, God was glorified. Not because I was doing anything. But because I was nothing; merely a witness. Because I was marveling in the vastness of His splendor, in awe of His timing and His miracles. God is MOST glorified in us when we recognize we're nothing and that He's everything.
incredible.
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