God doesn't delay. He acts in His perfect time to display His glory.
Today, His glory is on display oh so brightly.
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."
Ephesians 3:20-21
Even when I think I have things figured out, or when I think I've received enough grace for the day, God continues to bless for His namesake. How can we say that anything on this earth even comes close? Why do we look for this love elsewhere?
He is good. His love is never-ending. He loves to bless. He acts to proclaim His glory- not mine- but His.
My heart is grateful.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Thursday, January 19, 2012
challenges
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the Founder and Perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12:1-2
Run the race, huh? What happens when my track has a few more hurdles, maybe even some sand that forms a top layer on the track making me slip with each stride? Or a tar pit that catches each step? Can I still endure and run the race? Absolutely. But that doesn't mean it won't be an intense challenge. It just means that I have the joy of looking to Jesus IN that and resting in His victory over this tricky course I'm on.
I'm about to get vulnerable. So that if that stuff freaks you out I suggest you end your reading here. But I would also encourage you to keep going, because vulnerability seems to be the way God breaks us of ourselves and shows us just how screwed up we really are but also just how incredibly loved we are in His sight.
Clothed in Hope has the tendency to consume my thoughts 90% of every day. But lately these haven't been warm and fuzzy thoughts. They've been ones of fundraisers and intern tasks to keep my mind off of the daunting reality of what's really going on. Here's where the scary stuff comes in: My plan all along has been to move to Zambia in June but as of this very moment, I don't have anywhere to live. I don't have anyone to come with me. I don't have a partner to sponsor my visa. I can't get in touch with any of my in-country contacts who have offered to help with these things. And I'm at this place where I just feel... stuck. I wouldn't use the word defeated since the Lord has been so gracious to me to keep on with it. But it's rough. It's hard for me to think about going alone, or that I don't have anywhere to live if I get there, but I know that time isn't up and that God never delays. That still doesn't stop my sinful, human heart from admitting that this is challenging, testing, frustrating, overwhelming.
Since when was following Christ easy? Doesn't He COMMAND me to take risks for the Gospel, promising that through us, He will do more than He did when He was here on this earth?
Today I broke. I snapped and the build-up had just become too much to handle. Sure I've prayed about it a lot but I've never just broken before the Lord about this issue. Maybe it's because I've felt guilty for not trusting in God as much as I did when I said YES to this journey in the beginning, who knows. But in a moment of brokenness and helplessness, I got an email from my summer project leader, Larry, who has been an incredible encourager and mentor to me through everything Zambia and life.
He challenged me to not get discouraged. But beyond that he opened my heart to admit that Zambia isn't an easy place. It's really really really difficult to get anything done from the States, nearly impossible actually. Even in-country, life is tough. It's not tourist-friendly, it takes 3 days to fly there, there isn't a huge base of missionaries, it isn't cheap for foreigners. BUT it is the place where God has told me to GO and love His children, to share the redeeming love of Christ with them through spreading the Good News of Him and His promises. Larry ended the email with a prayer of his that couldn't be more on-point with my own heart's cry:
"God if you want me to reach a difficult place, I'll do it. I just need to know You're in it with me. Someone else can reach the easy places."
Will you just pray for me, pray with me that God will use me in the difficult place, despite the wall of challenges and all the voices that seem to say "it's impossible?" Will you pray for Zambia, a difficult place that so desperately needs the love of Christ?
Hebrews 12:1-2
Run the race, huh? What happens when my track has a few more hurdles, maybe even some sand that forms a top layer on the track making me slip with each stride? Or a tar pit that catches each step? Can I still endure and run the race? Absolutely. But that doesn't mean it won't be an intense challenge. It just means that I have the joy of looking to Jesus IN that and resting in His victory over this tricky course I'm on.
I'm about to get vulnerable. So that if that stuff freaks you out I suggest you end your reading here. But I would also encourage you to keep going, because vulnerability seems to be the way God breaks us of ourselves and shows us just how screwed up we really are but also just how incredibly loved we are in His sight.
Clothed in Hope has the tendency to consume my thoughts 90% of every day. But lately these haven't been warm and fuzzy thoughts. They've been ones of fundraisers and intern tasks to keep my mind off of the daunting reality of what's really going on. Here's where the scary stuff comes in: My plan all along has been to move to Zambia in June but as of this very moment, I don't have anywhere to live. I don't have anyone to come with me. I don't have a partner to sponsor my visa. I can't get in touch with any of my in-country contacts who have offered to help with these things. And I'm at this place where I just feel... stuck. I wouldn't use the word defeated since the Lord has been so gracious to me to keep on with it. But it's rough. It's hard for me to think about going alone, or that I don't have anywhere to live if I get there, but I know that time isn't up and that God never delays. That still doesn't stop my sinful, human heart from admitting that this is challenging, testing, frustrating, overwhelming.
Since when was following Christ easy? Doesn't He COMMAND me to take risks for the Gospel, promising that through us, He will do more than He did when He was here on this earth?
Today I broke. I snapped and the build-up had just become too much to handle. Sure I've prayed about it a lot but I've never just broken before the Lord about this issue. Maybe it's because I've felt guilty for not trusting in God as much as I did when I said YES to this journey in the beginning, who knows. But in a moment of brokenness and helplessness, I got an email from my summer project leader, Larry, who has been an incredible encourager and mentor to me through everything Zambia and life.
He challenged me to not get discouraged. But beyond that he opened my heart to admit that Zambia isn't an easy place. It's really really really difficult to get anything done from the States, nearly impossible actually. Even in-country, life is tough. It's not tourist-friendly, it takes 3 days to fly there, there isn't a huge base of missionaries, it isn't cheap for foreigners. BUT it is the place where God has told me to GO and love His children, to share the redeeming love of Christ with them through spreading the Good News of Him and His promises. Larry ended the email with a prayer of his that couldn't be more on-point with my own heart's cry:
"God if you want me to reach a difficult place, I'll do it. I just need to know You're in it with me. Someone else can reach the easy places."
Will you just pray for me, pray with me that God will use me in the difficult place, despite the wall of challenges and all the voices that seem to say "it's impossible?" Will you pray for Zambia, a difficult place that so desperately needs the love of Christ?
Thursday, January 12, 2012
joy
So it's obviously been quite a while since I've posted. But that absence of words doesn't portray an absence of thoughts in my mind. Over the past month, I've been wrestling with so many parts of CiH that just seem... impossible. Looking at the big picture and the daunting funds needed and the checklist of items that just don't seem to get checked off, I easily got sidetracked. I got distracted from the purpose of Clothed in Hope, the purpose of life. To LOVE and to receive LOVE from our Lover, Savior, Rescuer, Provider, Healer, all things good and perfect in the Lord.
I attended the Passion Conference in Atlanta for the third time just a couple of weeks ago and honestly I wasn't expecting much. I felt I had already experienced the heart awakening for the nations by the grace of God opening my eyes to the needs of the world and our responsibility to meet them with the love of Jesus. Standing to worship in another session, I was hit by a truck- with this song, one I've heard a million times over.
Except this time was so different than any other time before. If you watch the video you'll see that people from all across the world sang this in worship in their native language with a full heart and in full joy of the truth of this song. Even sweet little ones from Uganda stood up there singing to our God with more passion than I've felt in my heart in quite some time. It was in that moment that God reached down to my heart in grace.
He showed me that serving Him in Zambia through Clothed in Hope isn't a burden. It isn't impossible. He's ordained this and He's before all things and causes all things to happen. He's here to carry my load when it feels too heavy to bear. He's here to hold my hand when I feel no one else cares. He's not just here for me. He's LET me see the needs of Zambia; He's LET me know the hearts of dear Zambian women and children to LET me in on HIS PURPOSE: to make His glory known to all people through the immeasurable love of Christ in a slum in Lusaka, Zambia. That's it.
Too often I view the daily tasks of Clothed in Hope as a burden and lack the sugar coating of explanations when people ask me about it. But it was in that moment God shook me and showed me through His intense love, mercy and grace that this is all a GIFT and that swells my heart up with intense joy to think that the God of the Universe, the One who knows every person on earth, has CHOSEN me to bring hope to the hopeless. He has CHOSEN ME- a doubting, selfish, ridiculous college student to carry His name to Zambia. Just let that soak for a hot second.
Our "burdens", our "crosses to bear" aren't without purpose. They aren't only hardships for the sense of being refined into this great Christian. They're God's ultimate plan to USE us though He doesn't need us. They're God's grace to let us SEE what He's doing in our workplaces, in our homes, across the nations, though He doesn't need to show us at all. They're God's method of letting us partake in HIS holiness though we are far from it. Now that just wells my heart up with immeasurable joy.
I attended the Passion Conference in Atlanta for the third time just a couple of weeks ago and honestly I wasn't expecting much. I felt I had already experienced the heart awakening for the nations by the grace of God opening my eyes to the needs of the world and our responsibility to meet them with the love of Jesus. Standing to worship in another session, I was hit by a truck- with this song, one I've heard a million times over.
Except this time was so different than any other time before. If you watch the video you'll see that people from all across the world sang this in worship in their native language with a full heart and in full joy of the truth of this song. Even sweet little ones from Uganda stood up there singing to our God with more passion than I've felt in my heart in quite some time. It was in that moment that God reached down to my heart in grace.
He showed me that serving Him in Zambia through Clothed in Hope isn't a burden. It isn't impossible. He's ordained this and He's before all things and causes all things to happen. He's here to carry my load when it feels too heavy to bear. He's here to hold my hand when I feel no one else cares. He's not just here for me. He's LET me see the needs of Zambia; He's LET me know the hearts of dear Zambian women and children to LET me in on HIS PURPOSE: to make His glory known to all people through the immeasurable love of Christ in a slum in Lusaka, Zambia. That's it.
Too often I view the daily tasks of Clothed in Hope as a burden and lack the sugar coating of explanations when people ask me about it. But it was in that moment God shook me and showed me through His intense love, mercy and grace that this is all a GIFT and that swells my heart up with intense joy to think that the God of the Universe, the One who knows every person on earth, has CHOSEN me to bring hope to the hopeless. He has CHOSEN ME- a doubting, selfish, ridiculous college student to carry His name to Zambia. Just let that soak for a hot second.
Our "burdens", our "crosses to bear" aren't without purpose. They aren't only hardships for the sense of being refined into this great Christian. They're God's ultimate plan to USE us though He doesn't need us. They're God's grace to let us SEE what He's doing in our workplaces, in our homes, across the nations, though He doesn't need to show us at all. They're God's method of letting us partake in HIS holiness though we are far from it. Now that just wells my heart up with immeasurable joy.
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