affirmation

All along I've been questioning. Wondering. Doubting even. The crazy thoughts running through my mind didn't quite calm down when I came down with a TERRIBLE case of food poisoning in Accra, Ghana the night before we were supposed to fly out to Zambia. Laying in my bed unable to move around, I thought my worst fears had been affirmed. God didn't want me to keep going with Clothed in Hope. I had somehow messed things up or caused Him to change His mind.

But this was all wrong. Rather, God knew how my mind races, how I get anxious with excitement and tend to overplan. Laying basically half-dead in my bed, there wasn't much time for planning or mental preparation for the trip. I had planned to read these verses, pray this long, etc etc. But God a different plan. Doesn't He always?! And yet again He proves HIS control, HIS timing, HIS sovereignty over all things, even health. I woke up the next morning not feeling 100% but not nearly as awful as the night before and such peace just flooded over me. God loves to love His children. He delights in their joy. He loves to give to His children and doesn't withold any good from them. My sickness wasn't punishment but rather God's gift of removing anxiety and stress, of showing me where I could place 100% of my trust and where I could find renewed faith in His work.

So here I am in Lusaka, Zambia in the very same internet cafe I wrote all the blog entries in from last summer. I'm eating at the same places, shopping at the same stores, meeting some of the same people but yet it's different. I thought it'd be bittersweet here reminding me of such sweet memories of last summer that I won't be able to get back. Instead it's different, it's new. It's incredible just how these two days even have made me feel so comfortable, so at rest. This may be a small detail but I slept better last night than in the past 6 weeks! It's home. I write this and my heart races a bit at the reality of this statement but I'm incredibly excited. Every last detail has just been affirmation for me and for Clothed in Hope. Sure things aren't glamorous or super easy here. But there's just something about this place that feels so right. I was able to meet with a man yesterday from an NGO here in Zambia who could be and will be a great contact for Clothed in Hope. I don't want to get ahead of myself in explaining things but let's just say that God's really taking care of these plans. So many things came together in a matter of minutes that I couldn't even begin to make happen over an entire semester.

I'll be updating with more stories of the things I've seen, the people I've met and the plans in the process as I have time.

Just a glimpse at the life here in Zambia, the poorer, shyer, less popular cousin of Ghana: Yesterday we went to visit an organization here employing young women, mostly single mothers, to crochet purses from platic bags. The compound includes a safe house for boys & girls in Ng'ombe that need a place to flee during a hard time. The safe house began when one girl, then 13 years old, came to the compound after midnight one night after being raped by a group of men who attacked her. She's now 16 and still lives in the safe house with her 3 year old beautiful daughter and gift of the Lord, Kelly. She's been trained to create these purses to provide for her and her daughter. Just stories like this rip your heart out but it hurts more knowing they're not uncommon whatsoever. The immense need of Ng'ombe is what continues to fuel my heart for these people. And just the gentle beauty they all carry with them despite such hardship.

Okay I could write for days. I'm really done now. I'm in awe that God isn't though!