battle

So many moments, decisions, thoughts revolve around this battle that seems to take over my mind without even noticing it creeping its way on in. It’s the battle to choose America or Zambia. To choose college or career. To choose social events or business meetings. This battle that has me seemingly split down the middle of two separate lives.
But this shouldn’t be a battle. It’s a gift.
America has its wonder- technology, fashion, entertainment, mountains & beaches, diverse friendships, opportunities, freedom, chocolate chip cookies
And so does Zambia- dusty roads, brilliant sunsets, echoes of laughter, little hands, Rooibos tea, humor through difficulty, culture, strength
(just to name a few…)
I don’t have to choose. I don’t belong to either but rather I get to be a part of both. I get to see the Lord in different ways, looking upon the face of the Savior in the Nordstrom sales associate and in the disease-stricken orphan. God lets me get a glimpse of His true nature. He is complex yet simple. Just yet merciful. And He is completely loving.
My heart may sway between two places but it can be at rest. There is no battle to be fought.
God’s plan is perfect.
If He’s brought me to this place, it’s not without all-loving, sovereign purpose. For today I’ll curl up on the couch, enjoy a good movie & Vogue with some milk and cookies. I’ll enjoy the little things of America because of His grace, knowing that these are just blessings poured out for me to enjoy to give Him the glory in return. Undeserving but wholly loved through Christ.

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. [Psalm 62:5]