I was blessed to go to my church's spring break mission trip to Philadelphia last week and was hit by the immense need that is present even in our own country. Gangs, drugs, irrational violence, darkness like I've never seen before. And I'm sure it exists in Columbia too but so often do I believe that where I live and the people I interact with are the "norm." They're not. People in my own city are homeless, starving, living in poverty. So God wrecked me by showing me the need for service here and that His love is the only love that people need. God doesn't want more Christians, He wants more lovers of Himself. He wants people to abandon all and live the most fulfilled life through what Christ has already done- wiped away every sin from our record. Incredible truth. And something to be reminded of everyday.
I've been going through "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers but was a bitttt too busy to sit down and read it during the trip. So I sat down one afternoon and read back through the days I missed and came across some heart-awakening quotes. They encouraged and challenged me so I figured I'd share. It looks like a lot but it's all great stuff so stick with it.
God LOVES you.
March 7:
The bedrock of our Christian faith is the unmerited, fathomless marvel of the love of God exhibited on the Cross of Calvary, a love we can and never shall merit. Paul says this is the reason we are more than conquerors in all these things, super-victors, with a joy we would not have but for the very things which look like they are going to overwhelm us. The surf that distresses the ordinary swimmer produces in the surf-rider the super-joy of going clean through it. Apply that to our own circumstance, these very things- tribulation, distress, persecution, produce in us the super-joy; they are not things to fight. We are more than conquerors through Him in all these things, not in spite of them but in the midst of them.
Undaunted radiance is not built on anything passing, but on the love of God that nothing can alter. The experiences of life, terrible or monotonous, are impotent to touch the love of God, which is Christ Jesus our Lord.
March 8:
Am I willing to relinquish my hold on all I possess, my hold on my affections, and on everything, and to be identified with the death of Jesus Christ?
If you are up against the question of relinquishing, go through the crisis, relinquishing all, and God will make you fit for all that He requires of you.
March 9:
If God gives a clear and emphatic realization to your soul of what He wants, do not try to keep yourself in that relationship by any particular method, but live a natural life of absolute dependence on Jesus Christ.
March 10:
The natural heart will do any amount of serving, but it takes the heart broken by conviction of sin, and baptized by the Holy Spirit, and crumpled into the purpose of God before the life becomes the sacrament of its message.
March 11:
“Though it tarry, wait for it.” We cannot attain to a vision; we must live in the inspiration of it until it accomplishes itself. We get so practical that we forget the vision. At the beginning we saw it but did not wait for it; we rushed off into practical work, and when the vision was fulfilled, we did not see it. Waiting for the vision that tarries is the test of our loyalty to God. It is at the peril of our soul’s welfare that we get caught up in the practical work and miss the fulfillment of the vision.
March 12:
If we only give up something to God because we want more back, there is nothing of the Holy Spirit in our abandonment; it is miserable commercial self-interest. That we gain heaven, that we are delivered from sin, that we are made useful to God- these things never enter as considerations into real abandonment, which is a personal sovereign preference for Jesus Christ Himself.
March 13:
My experimental knowledge of salvation will be along the line of deliverance from sin and of personal holiness; but salvation means that the Spirit of God has brought me into touch with God’s personality, and I am thrilled with something infinitely greater than myself; I am caught up into the abandonment of God.
Abandonment never produces the consciousness of its own effort, because the whole life is taken up with the One to Whom we abandon.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
humbled
Today an article came out in the Daily Gamecock, USC's student newspaper, featuring Clothed in Hope on the front page. Blessing. A sweet, sweet sorority sister called on Sunday wanting to interview me and write up an article about everything that's been going on over the past month, as well as my plans for the future with this whole nonprofit adventure. Excitement filled me up inside in anticipation of so many more people learning about the cause and hopefully supporting it in the future. But with that came some strange feeling inside. Not doubt, not fear, but some sort of timidity. It rested on my heart like a shadow and I was determined to pray to the bottom of it.
Humility.
"For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted." Matthew 23:12
That was it. My heart feared becoming proud through this exposure. It's so easy to see this as a promotional opportunity for myself but who do I live for? Myself or for Christ? My purpose in life is to make Christ famous and lift HIS name higher. So with that comes lowering the name of Amy Woodell.
Clothed in Hope is a work of the Lord. After all, what have I really done? I've signed a paper, spent 20 minutes in a bank, researched some, sewn a bunch of shirts, brainstormed some, dreamed more. That's it! Big woop! God is so obviously working through this by opening doors, establishing valuable connections, providing opportunities to share the need, breaking my heart daily for these women, creating a stir that I couldn't have created on my own. People are walking into my life who I could've never found on my own. Doors are just flying open and I'm holding on for the ride of my life. As I sat in my car in the parking lot before class this morning, I opened the package with my official paperwork from the Secretary of State of North Carolina and I could barely breathe. I just became so overwhelmed and in awe of God's grace. Of His provision. Of the ability to cultivate a humble heart within me. And most of all, that none of this was of me. I sat humbled. Not just because of what God's done in my life over the past month, year or even since freshman year; but mostly because of WHO GOD IS. The second I surrendered and stepped out of the way, God slipped in to work His magic and let His plan unfold before my eyes. How insignificant am I?! The same God who has done all this, who is my purpose in life, who changes lives and heals lives, is the same God who could do this in and through any other person. For Clothed in Hope, He chose me.
But what has He chosen you for?
Humility.
"For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted." Matthew 23:12
That was it. My heart feared becoming proud through this exposure. It's so easy to see this as a promotional opportunity for myself but who do I live for? Myself or for Christ? My purpose in life is to make Christ famous and lift HIS name higher. So with that comes lowering the name of Amy Woodell.
Clothed in Hope is a work of the Lord. After all, what have I really done? I've signed a paper, spent 20 minutes in a bank, researched some, sewn a bunch of shirts, brainstormed some, dreamed more. That's it! Big woop! God is so obviously working through this by opening doors, establishing valuable connections, providing opportunities to share the need, breaking my heart daily for these women, creating a stir that I couldn't have created on my own. People are walking into my life who I could've never found on my own. Doors are just flying open and I'm holding on for the ride of my life. As I sat in my car in the parking lot before class this morning, I opened the package with my official paperwork from the Secretary of State of North Carolina and I could barely breathe. I just became so overwhelmed and in awe of God's grace. Of His provision. Of the ability to cultivate a humble heart within me. And most of all, that none of this was of me. I sat humbled. Not just because of what God's done in my life over the past month, year or even since freshman year; but mostly because of WHO GOD IS. The second I surrendered and stepped out of the way, God slipped in to work His magic and let His plan unfold before my eyes. How insignificant am I?! The same God who has done all this, who is my purpose in life, who changes lives and heals lives, is the same God who could do this in and through any other person. For Clothed in Hope, He chose me.
But what has He chosen you for?
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
He knew.
What a journey this has been already. If you would've told me six months ago that this is where I'd be, I would've told you that you're crazy. Ever since I returned home from Zambia, I thought I'd have to either give up my passion for Africa or my apparent calling to the fashion industry. But He knew.
God knew all along that He had placed these passions in my heart to come together to bring Him the most glory. Through a last-minute fashion show volunteer position, I discovered that this dream placed in my heart of connecting women through textiles in order to alleviate poverty wasn't so far-fetched. When I first thought of the idea and shared it with a few people, I prefaced it with "I know this probably sounds insane." I really felt like God planted this idea in my mind: to share my knowledge of fashion and sewing, employing women in poverty in Africa to make garments to be sold to Americans. Women across cultural boundaries, across economic statuses aren't that different at all. And that was the primary vision for this whole thing. That through the purchase of a garment, it's not just giving money to a woman but it's giving her hope while recognizing that you two aren't too different at all. She was born in Africa, you were born in America. This characteristic is one we can't control or change but rather one we react to and shape our lives around. The woman across the ocean still suffers from insecurity, still wants to be loved, admired and adored. She still values deep friendships and faith. She also suffers and goes through seasons of intense hardship. Maybe this isn't in the form of cancer but it could be losing a child to a disease or her husband to AIDS before his 40th birthday. The heartbreak is just as intense.
After connecting with organizations from the cultural awareness fashion show who seem to already be living my dream, I couldn't erase the thought in my mind. The "Aha" moment is still so vivid in my mind. I was at Jimmy Johns (typical college student, right?) to grab a late dinner with some other fashion show volunteers and was just bursting at the seams. I didn't feel hunger, I only felt this overwhelming urge to scream to the world that God knew! He knew how to merge these passions together to make His name famous. I called my parents in that Jimmy Johns and spilled my guts- I just had to share with someone! I can't remember anything specifically that I said but I will forever remember that feeling of complete joy and fulfillment in Christ.
The rest of last semester was just a tug-of-war, between discerning my desires and God's desires for this. Do I team up with someone else? Do I work stateside? Do I give it all up? Do I attempt it all on my own? But God was incredibly faithful in His promises to me, speaking so sweetly to my heart and making things clearer by the day. On January 21 of this year I remember sitting in my room with my roommate just throwing out this crazy idea of starting a nonprofit on my own with the freedom to sculpt the organization into what I really felt God wanted, in the location I felt called to. We threw out a few names, screamed a bit (well, I did at least), and that's when the decision was made! Clothed in Hope was beginning. I didn't know how, didn't have any means to make it happen but I know that there's nothing more exciting than trusting God with everything. So that I did, and that I'm still doing today.
It's been one month. Already God's provision has blown me away. I'm watching these doors fly open and all I have to do is walk through them. All I have to do is say "yes" to what He's calling me to. Already I've sold tshirts and have an overwhelming amount of orders, already I have an etsy account (clothedinhope.etsy.com), already I have a bank account under CLOTHED IN HOPE, already I've filed Articles of Incorporation, already I have a working website (clothedinhope.org), already I've been asked for the method of donations. ALREADY! It's been one month... that's it.
If you don't have chills, I have enough for you right now. I wake up everyday so humbled that God's chosen to use ME for this task. He's chosen to use me to "defend the weak and the fatherless, uphold the cause of the poor and oppressed; rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked." He's chosen some 21 year old sorority girl, who had a crazy freshman year but was rescued by her Savior, and who has failed time and time again, to carry His name to lift up the name of Jesus to the people He loves. It's hard to think about all of this sometimes. Scary even. But I can rest knowing that God's faithfulness endures forever. If it's the plan, it'll happen according to His will in His timing. I am not a part of this equation whatsoever. I'm merely a facilitator of His dream; His dream to see all people return to the cross in loving Him completely.
in awe.
&
fully His.
God knew all along that He had placed these passions in my heart to come together to bring Him the most glory. Through a last-minute fashion show volunteer position, I discovered that this dream placed in my heart of connecting women through textiles in order to alleviate poverty wasn't so far-fetched. When I first thought of the idea and shared it with a few people, I prefaced it with "I know this probably sounds insane." I really felt like God planted this idea in my mind: to share my knowledge of fashion and sewing, employing women in poverty in Africa to make garments to be sold to Americans. Women across cultural boundaries, across economic statuses aren't that different at all. And that was the primary vision for this whole thing. That through the purchase of a garment, it's not just giving money to a woman but it's giving her hope while recognizing that you two aren't too different at all. She was born in Africa, you were born in America. This characteristic is one we can't control or change but rather one we react to and shape our lives around. The woman across the ocean still suffers from insecurity, still wants to be loved, admired and adored. She still values deep friendships and faith. She also suffers and goes through seasons of intense hardship. Maybe this isn't in the form of cancer but it could be losing a child to a disease or her husband to AIDS before his 40th birthday. The heartbreak is just as intense.
After connecting with organizations from the cultural awareness fashion show who seem to already be living my dream, I couldn't erase the thought in my mind. The "Aha" moment is still so vivid in my mind. I was at Jimmy Johns (typical college student, right?) to grab a late dinner with some other fashion show volunteers and was just bursting at the seams. I didn't feel hunger, I only felt this overwhelming urge to scream to the world that God knew! He knew how to merge these passions together to make His name famous. I called my parents in that Jimmy Johns and spilled my guts- I just had to share with someone! I can't remember anything specifically that I said but I will forever remember that feeling of complete joy and fulfillment in Christ.
The rest of last semester was just a tug-of-war, between discerning my desires and God's desires for this. Do I team up with someone else? Do I work stateside? Do I give it all up? Do I attempt it all on my own? But God was incredibly faithful in His promises to me, speaking so sweetly to my heart and making things clearer by the day. On January 21 of this year I remember sitting in my room with my roommate just throwing out this crazy idea of starting a nonprofit on my own with the freedom to sculpt the organization into what I really felt God wanted, in the location I felt called to. We threw out a few names, screamed a bit (well, I did at least), and that's when the decision was made! Clothed in Hope was beginning. I didn't know how, didn't have any means to make it happen but I know that there's nothing more exciting than trusting God with everything. So that I did, and that I'm still doing today.
It's been one month. Already God's provision has blown me away. I'm watching these doors fly open and all I have to do is walk through them. All I have to do is say "yes" to what He's calling me to. Already I've sold tshirts and have an overwhelming amount of orders, already I have an etsy account (clothedinhope.etsy.com), already I have a bank account under CLOTHED IN HOPE, already I've filed Articles of Incorporation, already I have a working website (clothedinhope.org), already I've been asked for the method of donations. ALREADY! It's been one month... that's it.
If you don't have chills, I have enough for you right now. I wake up everyday so humbled that God's chosen to use ME for this task. He's chosen to use me to "defend the weak and the fatherless, uphold the cause of the poor and oppressed; rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked." He's chosen some 21 year old sorority girl, who had a crazy freshman year but was rescued by her Savior, and who has failed time and time again, to carry His name to lift up the name of Jesus to the people He loves. It's hard to think about all of this sometimes. Scary even. But I can rest knowing that God's faithfulness endures forever. If it's the plan, it'll happen according to His will in His timing. I am not a part of this equation whatsoever. I'm merely a facilitator of His dream; His dream to see all people return to the cross in loving Him completely.
in awe.
&
fully His.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Witness
God desires for us to worship Him to glorify Him out of JOY and THANKSGIVING, not duty or obligation. No praise will come flowing out genuinely if we don't grasp this. If you've been around the "church scene" you may be thinking duh, heard this already. But think about it! It's a constant battle to reject that insecurity that may slip in by not "doing enough" or by looking at your identity in the Lord and someone else's and seeing dissonance. Let me preface this post by saying that this is by no means an excuse to sit back and be lazy... we shouldn't want to be anyways! But instead, it's a proclamation of freedom from the burden of busyness.
In John Piper's Let the Nations Be Glad, he writes, "God is glorified precisely when we are satisfied in Him- when we delight in His presence, when we like to be around Him, when we treasure His fellowship. This is an utterly life-changing discovery. It frees us to pursue our joy in God and God to pursue His glory in us because they are not two different pursuits. God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him."
Now usually I read this famous phrase of John's, a message of the Lord of course, and think that it means the "better" my Christian walk is, the "closest" I feel to the Lord, the more capable I am of being most satisfied in Him. But it hit me last Wednesday. I can only be MOST satisfied in Him when I recognize my extreme insignificance in this world.
As a Greek at Carolina, we have a unique ministry that has proven to be such a blessing to me and to thousands of Greek students here. It's called Greek Impact and meets once a month with a youth group style meeting: game, prizes, speaker, usually a fun video too. This month a fraternity man who's now on staff with Greeks at UT came all the way to speak to us and share a beautiful message. I can't remember the details of this message, couldn't even give you a full summary because I was just praying my guts out. As a community, we've faced persecution like never before in our Greek system. Not beatings and torture persecution, but just feeling a bit isolated, unable to initiate in the outreach things like we used to. And it's every house it seems. No more praying in chapter meetings, no more verses in chapter meetings, and the list goes on. So needless to say we've all felt a bit ineffective this semester. A war is being waged because we're all standing boldly in our faith, and satan doesn't particularly like that. Anyways, I diverge. I doubted the "success" of our meeting because of this barrier that's been built up against us. I didn't think the meeting was capable of producing fruit. I feared the blunt-ness of the speaker, thinking it would offend and turn away these 300-some people who came. I'm not a fan of the Gospel all wrapped in a bow so this attitude was a bit unusual for me, but Wednesday I just wasn't feeling too hopeful.
As some of you may have read in my Zambia blog, God has continually met me when I feel most inadequate. He performs miracles to show that He's the One to be glorified, not the actions or the carriers of those actions. God loves surprising us! And that He did on Wednesday night in my own sorority house. With every head bowed, we closed in prayer but Hank, the speaker, did something I don't think we've done before. He did the alter-call thing, asking students to just look up at him if they wanted a breakthrough in their lives, if they wanted to give it all up to our Savior. With that he paused and then spoke, "welcome to the family of God." I had to grin a little bit. God moved and brought a life into the light when I was doubting! So incredibly powerful and faithful! ...Of course it's not enough to stop there. Over the next few minutes with every head bowed, perfectly silent in the room except for maybe a few sniffles we heard "welcome to the family of God; welcome to the family of God; welcome to the family of God." And it continued. I thought for sure this was just to hype people up. To fake it that other people were making that decision just so others felt comfortable to do so. But this wasn't the case at all!! Every single "welcome to the family of God" brought chills up my arms, tears to my eyes, and a heart bursting with praise for the Sovereign Lord.
Twenty Five. If you didn't catch that, 25!!!, students took the step of faith to invite Jesus to perform a breakthrough in their lives. And in that moment, God was glorified. Not because I was doing anything. But because I was nothing; merely a witness. Because I was marveling in the vastness of His splendor, in awe of His timing and His miracles. God is MOST glorified in us when we recognize we're nothing and that He's everything.
incredible.
In John Piper's Let the Nations Be Glad, he writes, "God is glorified precisely when we are satisfied in Him- when we delight in His presence, when we like to be around Him, when we treasure His fellowship. This is an utterly life-changing discovery. It frees us to pursue our joy in God and God to pursue His glory in us because they are not two different pursuits. God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him."
Now usually I read this famous phrase of John's, a message of the Lord of course, and think that it means the "better" my Christian walk is, the "closest" I feel to the Lord, the more capable I am of being most satisfied in Him. But it hit me last Wednesday. I can only be MOST satisfied in Him when I recognize my extreme insignificance in this world.
As a Greek at Carolina, we have a unique ministry that has proven to be such a blessing to me and to thousands of Greek students here. It's called Greek Impact and meets once a month with a youth group style meeting: game, prizes, speaker, usually a fun video too. This month a fraternity man who's now on staff with Greeks at UT came all the way to speak to us and share a beautiful message. I can't remember the details of this message, couldn't even give you a full summary because I was just praying my guts out. As a community, we've faced persecution like never before in our Greek system. Not beatings and torture persecution, but just feeling a bit isolated, unable to initiate in the outreach things like we used to. And it's every house it seems. No more praying in chapter meetings, no more verses in chapter meetings, and the list goes on. So needless to say we've all felt a bit ineffective this semester. A war is being waged because we're all standing boldly in our faith, and satan doesn't particularly like that. Anyways, I diverge. I doubted the "success" of our meeting because of this barrier that's been built up against us. I didn't think the meeting was capable of producing fruit. I feared the blunt-ness of the speaker, thinking it would offend and turn away these 300-some people who came. I'm not a fan of the Gospel all wrapped in a bow so this attitude was a bit unusual for me, but Wednesday I just wasn't feeling too hopeful.
As some of you may have read in my Zambia blog, God has continually met me when I feel most inadequate. He performs miracles to show that He's the One to be glorified, not the actions or the carriers of those actions. God loves surprising us! And that He did on Wednesday night in my own sorority house. With every head bowed, we closed in prayer but Hank, the speaker, did something I don't think we've done before. He did the alter-call thing, asking students to just look up at him if they wanted a breakthrough in their lives, if they wanted to give it all up to our Savior. With that he paused and then spoke, "welcome to the family of God." I had to grin a little bit. God moved and brought a life into the light when I was doubting! So incredibly powerful and faithful! ...Of course it's not enough to stop there. Over the next few minutes with every head bowed, perfectly silent in the room except for maybe a few sniffles we heard "welcome to the family of God; welcome to the family of God; welcome to the family of God." And it continued. I thought for sure this was just to hype people up. To fake it that other people were making that decision just so others felt comfortable to do so. But this wasn't the case at all!! Every single "welcome to the family of God" brought chills up my arms, tears to my eyes, and a heart bursting with praise for the Sovereign Lord.
Twenty Five. If you didn't catch that, 25!!!, students took the step of faith to invite Jesus to perform a breakthrough in their lives. And in that moment, God was glorified. Not because I was doing anything. But because I was nothing; merely a witness. Because I was marveling in the vastness of His splendor, in awe of His timing and His miracles. God is MOST glorified in us when we recognize we're nothing and that He's everything.
incredible.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Mission Field
Mission work doesn't just exist overseas. It doesn't begin in Ghana this summer or in Zambia a couple years from now. It occurs now at home, at school, in the workplace, even in my sorority. Walking through that front door of the sorority house, I know that I'm stepping into a war zone; a battle between good and evil. Satan is trying so hard to keep those girls in darkness while God desires each one of their hearts to return to Him through Jesus. But Jesus has already won the battle. All the girls have to do is surrender, to wave the white flag. It's such a blessing to see sorority sisters stand up to be followers of Jesus. Two years ago it was just me and a couple of older girls. But now I'm surrounded by a group of encouragers, of prayer warriors, of beautiful hearts. One of these beautiful hearts shared her testimony today at a new member meeting. And right away we got to see incredible fruit. Several young women expressed interest in getting to know this "Jesus" we've all placed our hope in. It's nothing but GRACE that allows me to be surrounded by these Christian women. Our mission statement, and yours too if you're a child of God, is Isaiah 61:1-3. I have fallen in love with this passage and hope you will too. Such purpose, such a plainly stated mission for life with others.
"The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God,to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of BEAUTY instead of ashes, the oil of JOY instead of mourning, and a GARMENT OF PRAISE instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of HIS SPLENDOR." Isaiah 61:1-3
The mission is now. The mission is here. All this for His glory.
ps check out clothedinhope.etsy.com for the first few items that are ready!
"The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God,to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of BEAUTY instead of ashes, the oil of JOY instead of mourning, and a GARMENT OF PRAISE instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of HIS SPLENDOR." Isaiah 61:1-3
The mission is now. The mission is here. All this for His glory.
ps check out clothedinhope.etsy.com for the first few items that are ready!
Friday, January 28, 2011
Leap of Faith
"BY FAITH Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going." Hebrews 11:8
Months of praying, months of hardship, months of joy from witnessing God move in the hearts of Greek students, months of vivid memories from Africa, months of anxiety that maybe all this Africa talk was just selfish, months of questioning, months of rest. I've been through quite the journey but our God is faithful and full of GRACE. I could type 50 pages on just how God's brought me to this point and made things so clear for me but I'll spare you. But don't get me wrong, I rejoice over it and would love to talk about it so feel free to email me if you want to know more about this. Anyways check out Hebrews 11. Incredible steps of faith were taken by incredible followers of God. Africa was just supposed to be a check off of my bucket list of life, a chapter in this book that's being written. But it's not. I've recently felt the call to stop pondering, stop dreaming and DO! So BY FAITH I'm stepping out into an unknown land. The land of creating a non-profit organization as a 21 year old fashion merchandising college student in a sorority. But here we go!
I believe that for this moment in my life God is screaming at me. He's opening doors, and all I'm doing is walking through. I'm not doing anything super amazing, not even making provisions for this. God's doing everything! His GRACE has been and is incredible to experience, but "incredible" doesn't even begin to describe just how much my mind and heart have been blown over the past week or so. God's calling and all I'm doing is saying "YES!" Maybe down the road God will have a different plan. But I'm confident that right now this is it. Again, nothing superb on my end. I admit that I'm even hesitant in telling some people because I don't want the "you're such an amazing person!" comment. Because I'm not. I'm a sinner, unworthy of being used by God, but have been reconciled to Him through Jesus and can live in freedom because of this extraordinary gift. None of this should be credited to me. In fact it's GRACE that allows me to be used as the hands and feet of Jesus. God doesn't NEED me to bring Him glory but He CHOOSES me! And He chooses You! Ah doesn't that just rock your world?!
So just a quick summary of what all this actually is. I'm working on getting granted non-profit status for this organization God's leading me to start, Clothed in Hope. Clothed in Hope will provide skills training in sewing in order for widows of the Ng'Ombe slum in Lusaka, Zambia to gain respect in society, and make a sustainable income to provide for their children and themselves. Zambian women are so inspiring; so full of strength despite the intensity of their pain. There are hopes of selling garments made by the Zambian women to women in America, recognizing that these women are no different. Sure they're thousands of miles away, living a completely different lifestyle but our hearts are all the same. We all struggle with the same need for affection, security, comfort, and HOPE. Not just a short-term financial or even social hope, but a hope that's everlasting. A hope rooted in our Savior.
So yet again, please join me in praying for this. Pray for more of Him, less of me. Pray for the Zambian women who are so awfully oppressed in their culture. Pray for provision with every step of this complicated process. Pray for God to be reflected so brilliantly in every moment of this journey. He IS providing, guiding and moving and deserves praise!
www.clothedinhope.etsy.com will have shirts and other things for sale to help start up some fundraising for this endeavor. Please pass this link along once I can get a few things up, and same goes for the website as soon as that's up. Rather than focusing on financial support I want to stress the need of spiritual support! And even using this as a means to say- don't settle with anything less than God's best. Even if that means living radicailly! My eyes have been opened to see that as a Christian, my life should never make sense to others. It should simply point them to Christ.
All this for HIS glory!
p.s. a friend of mine is also choosing to live incredibly BY FAITH. check this out: www.jasonhilborn.theworldrace.org
Months of praying, months of hardship, months of joy from witnessing God move in the hearts of Greek students, months of vivid memories from Africa, months of anxiety that maybe all this Africa talk was just selfish, months of questioning, months of rest. I've been through quite the journey but our God is faithful and full of GRACE. I could type 50 pages on just how God's brought me to this point and made things so clear for me but I'll spare you. But don't get me wrong, I rejoice over it and would love to talk about it so feel free to email me if you want to know more about this. Anyways check out Hebrews 11. Incredible steps of faith were taken by incredible followers of God. Africa was just supposed to be a check off of my bucket list of life, a chapter in this book that's being written. But it's not. I've recently felt the call to stop pondering, stop dreaming and DO! So BY FAITH I'm stepping out into an unknown land. The land of creating a non-profit organization as a 21 year old fashion merchandising college student in a sorority. But here we go!
I believe that for this moment in my life God is screaming at me. He's opening doors, and all I'm doing is walking through. I'm not doing anything super amazing, not even making provisions for this. God's doing everything! His GRACE has been and is incredible to experience, but "incredible" doesn't even begin to describe just how much my mind and heart have been blown over the past week or so. God's calling and all I'm doing is saying "YES!" Maybe down the road God will have a different plan. But I'm confident that right now this is it. Again, nothing superb on my end. I admit that I'm even hesitant in telling some people because I don't want the "you're such an amazing person!" comment. Because I'm not. I'm a sinner, unworthy of being used by God, but have been reconciled to Him through Jesus and can live in freedom because of this extraordinary gift. None of this should be credited to me. In fact it's GRACE that allows me to be used as the hands and feet of Jesus. God doesn't NEED me to bring Him glory but He CHOOSES me! And He chooses You! Ah doesn't that just rock your world?!
So just a quick summary of what all this actually is. I'm working on getting granted non-profit status for this organization God's leading me to start, Clothed in Hope. Clothed in Hope will provide skills training in sewing in order for widows of the Ng'Ombe slum in Lusaka, Zambia to gain respect in society, and make a sustainable income to provide for their children and themselves. Zambian women are so inspiring; so full of strength despite the intensity of their pain. There are hopes of selling garments made by the Zambian women to women in America, recognizing that these women are no different. Sure they're thousands of miles away, living a completely different lifestyle but our hearts are all the same. We all struggle with the same need for affection, security, comfort, and HOPE. Not just a short-term financial or even social hope, but a hope that's everlasting. A hope rooted in our Savior.
So yet again, please join me in praying for this. Pray for more of Him, less of me. Pray for the Zambian women who are so awfully oppressed in their culture. Pray for provision with every step of this complicated process. Pray for God to be reflected so brilliantly in every moment of this journey. He IS providing, guiding and moving and deserves praise!
www.clothedinhope.etsy.com will have shirts and other things for sale to help start up some fundraising for this endeavor. Please pass this link along once I can get a few things up, and same goes for the website as soon as that's up. Rather than focusing on financial support I want to stress the need of spiritual support! And even using this as a means to say- don't settle with anything less than God's best. Even if that means living radicailly! My eyes have been opened to see that as a Christian, my life should never make sense to others. It should simply point them to Christ.
All this for HIS glory!
p.s. a friend of mine is also choosing to live incredibly BY FAITH. check this out: www.jasonhilborn.theworldrace.org
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Faithful
So instead of writing about why I'm picking up with blogging again I think I'll just kick it off. The purpose of this one is to share what God is doing in and around me. It'll expose my heart, it'll share joys, and it may even challenge you in your own walk with the Lord. My only prayer is that through this is that God will be glorified.
My other blog (which you can view from my user profile thing) is all about Africa. It was basically my journal from my summer project to Zambia, Africa last summer- the place where I left pieces of my heart, the place that never leaves mine. I'm reminded of all God did there daily, even hourly as my room may even be overly African-ized with little trinkets and photos from the journey. I reflect back to one of the most challenging summers but the summer that I was able to experience the sweetest intimacy with my Jesus. But usually it stops there. I end my daydreaming (dayreflecting?) with a smile on my face and a thankful heart.
Except that today was different. I was attempting to take a nice afternoon nap on this gorgeous January-in-South-Carolina day, sunny and 65 (guess I should've been outside huh?), when I looked up at my photo collage on my wall. Kinda hard to describe but on one of my chitenges (fabric for a skirt wrap, etc) is a collage of my favorite photos from the trip. It's basically the focal point of my room so it's not out of the ordinary that I just stop to stare at it. I look at all the faces of the orphans, all of the gorgeous sunsets, and even cherish seeing the faces of the other students on my team, so thankful that our community still thrives 6 months later. Today. Today I looked up and didn't see all this. I just saw one face. It even felt like I made eye contact with this particular child and I just wept.
This child's name is Mary. I have basically an entire entry devoted to my interactions with her as she touched my heart in a way like never before. This small child, maybe around 7, carries her baby brother on her back from "morning to night" with no shoes on her feet and the same tattered clothing day after day. She's incredibly shy but her smile is enough to light up the entire village. It took a few weeks at Deborah Orphanage (zambiahope.com) in order for me to really start connecting with her. She craved love, she craved just someone to hold her close. Usually Mary would come find me halfway through the day to stand by me and hold my hand. But the last day we were there I slowly walked up to the orphanage, upset that it was our last time seeing these children, wanting to be alone. A few steps off the bus and I feel a hand grab mine. A little hand, calloused and dirty, grabbed mine. No words of greeting, no words spoken at all. I just look down to see Mary with a grin on her face as she's pulling my arm closer to her body.
This is the Mary that shook up my life that trip, and did the same for me today. Tear-filled eyes, I sat there frustrated, confused, hurting for this little girl. Where is she now? What does she do? Does she still have to care for her baby brother all day long? Who is there to love her? Has she outgrown her tattered clothes? Does she eat? It hurt me so badly to not be able to be there for Mary. I felt like I had abandoned her. But God. Don't most incredible statements begin like that? But God. God stepped in and showed me the reality of my feelings. Showed me mercy and grace in that moment. I'm just one person. I can't save the world. At age 21, it's unrealistic for me to adopt a little girl and her baby brother from Zambia and sustain them on my own. It appears that I can't even save one/two lives from extreme poverty. But God can.
In that moment of weakness I was reminded of a verse that's hung so heavily on my heart since I've been back, for a variety of different reasons. Africa never being one of them though. Hebrews 10:23 reads, "Let us hold unswervingly to the HOPE we profess, for HE who PROMISED is FAITHFUL." Now there's a whole lot packed into that sentence. But for me today, God wanted to remind me through this that He's got it. He PROMISES in His Word to protect them, to comfort the orphans. Psalm 34:6 says, "The poor man cried and the Lord heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles." And Psalm 68:5 "A Father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling." And Isaiah 41:10, "So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." God has PROMISED this HOPE for Mary in His Word. So according to Hebrews 10:23, and the rest of the Bible for that matter, I can believe that He will be faithful to carry out these promises.
I'm not called to worry about Mary, to stay up at night fearing for her life. I'm called to trust that God's plan is sovereign, that He's protecting her & her brother Thomas. And I'm called to pray my guts out. Through the tears is motivation to pray. It's become evident lately just how incredibly powerful prayer is, and what an expression of grace it is that Jesus makes it possible for us to approach THE God, our Maker, our Sustainer, our Creator, etc etc etc in prayer.
Stop for a second. Maybe you didn't cry over looking at a starving child's face today. Maybe you did. But I do know of something every single one of us has done today, probably a billion times today. And that's worry. Live in fear about some uncertain situation. But reflect on the promises of God! He will the FAITHFUL to carry them out! Now what's there to worry about when the God of the Universe says that He's got it?
All this for His glory.
My other blog (which you can view from my user profile thing) is all about Africa. It was basically my journal from my summer project to Zambia, Africa last summer- the place where I left pieces of my heart, the place that never leaves mine. I'm reminded of all God did there daily, even hourly as my room may even be overly African-ized with little trinkets and photos from the journey. I reflect back to one of the most challenging summers but the summer that I was able to experience the sweetest intimacy with my Jesus. But usually it stops there. I end my daydreaming (dayreflecting?) with a smile on my face and a thankful heart.
Except that today was different. I was attempting to take a nice afternoon nap on this gorgeous January-in-South-Carolina day, sunny and 65 (guess I should've been outside huh?), when I looked up at my photo collage on my wall. Kinda hard to describe but on one of my chitenges (fabric for a skirt wrap, etc) is a collage of my favorite photos from the trip. It's basically the focal point of my room so it's not out of the ordinary that I just stop to stare at it. I look at all the faces of the orphans, all of the gorgeous sunsets, and even cherish seeing the faces of the other students on my team, so thankful that our community still thrives 6 months later. Today. Today I looked up and didn't see all this. I just saw one face. It even felt like I made eye contact with this particular child and I just wept.
This child's name is Mary. I have basically an entire entry devoted to my interactions with her as she touched my heart in a way like never before. This small child, maybe around 7, carries her baby brother on her back from "morning to night" with no shoes on her feet and the same tattered clothing day after day. She's incredibly shy but her smile is enough to light up the entire village. It took a few weeks at Deborah Orphanage (zambiahope.com) in order for me to really start connecting with her. She craved love, she craved just someone to hold her close. Usually Mary would come find me halfway through the day to stand by me and hold my hand. But the last day we were there I slowly walked up to the orphanage, upset that it was our last time seeing these children, wanting to be alone. A few steps off the bus and I feel a hand grab mine. A little hand, calloused and dirty, grabbed mine. No words of greeting, no words spoken at all. I just look down to see Mary with a grin on her face as she's pulling my arm closer to her body.
This is the Mary that shook up my life that trip, and did the same for me today. Tear-filled eyes, I sat there frustrated, confused, hurting for this little girl. Where is she now? What does she do? Does she still have to care for her baby brother all day long? Who is there to love her? Has she outgrown her tattered clothes? Does she eat? It hurt me so badly to not be able to be there for Mary. I felt like I had abandoned her. But God. Don't most incredible statements begin like that? But God. God stepped in and showed me the reality of my feelings. Showed me mercy and grace in that moment. I'm just one person. I can't save the world. At age 21, it's unrealistic for me to adopt a little girl and her baby brother from Zambia and sustain them on my own. It appears that I can't even save one/two lives from extreme poverty. But God can.
In that moment of weakness I was reminded of a verse that's hung so heavily on my heart since I've been back, for a variety of different reasons. Africa never being one of them though. Hebrews 10:23 reads, "Let us hold unswervingly to the HOPE we profess, for HE who PROMISED is FAITHFUL." Now there's a whole lot packed into that sentence. But for me today, God wanted to remind me through this that He's got it. He PROMISES in His Word to protect them, to comfort the orphans. Psalm 34:6 says, "The poor man cried and the Lord heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles." And Psalm 68:5 "A Father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling." And Isaiah 41:10, "So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." God has PROMISED this HOPE for Mary in His Word. So according to Hebrews 10:23, and the rest of the Bible for that matter, I can believe that He will be faithful to carry out these promises.
I'm not called to worry about Mary, to stay up at night fearing for her life. I'm called to trust that God's plan is sovereign, that He's protecting her & her brother Thomas. And I'm called to pray my guts out. Through the tears is motivation to pray. It's become evident lately just how incredibly powerful prayer is, and what an expression of grace it is that Jesus makes it possible for us to approach THE God, our Maker, our Sustainer, our Creator, etc etc etc in prayer.
Stop for a second. Maybe you didn't cry over looking at a starving child's face today. Maybe you did. But I do know of something every single one of us has done today, probably a billion times today. And that's worry. Live in fear about some uncertain situation. But reflect on the promises of God! He will the FAITHFUL to carry them out! Now what's there to worry about when the God of the Universe says that He's got it?
All this for His glory.
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