victory

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I (Jesus) came that they may have life and have it abundantly. I am the good Shepherd.” John 10:10-11a

We’ve probably all heard this concept quite a bit. But living in Zambia when risk is everywhere for me, and the reality of darkness so apparent, my perception of this battle has changed. Upon arriving in Zambia in July, I believed in light and dark, but more than anything I think I believed in the battle. I believed in the hardship, the struggle, the tension of sin and holiness, but I didn’t fully grasp the outcome.

Jesus has won. The battle between light and dark, good and evil, is so very real, and we should always be on guard, but there’s more to the story. Whenever battle comes along, there isn’t a coin flipped for the outcome. We know the outcome and we can bet on it. It just depends on whose team we’re on. If we’re on Jesus’, we’ll win. If we’re not, we’ll lose, we’ll be defeated. There are only 2 teams. Light and dark. That’s it. When we’re in the light, dark can’t remain; light has extreme favor over dark, and that’s the beauty of it. When darkness fully exists, it seems suffocatingly real and powerful. But the second there’s even a match struck, an invitation to let Jesus in to fight regardless of our sin, the darkness can’t remain. It just can’t. I’m not saying we won’t experience hardship or burden in our lives. Jesus promises that we will when following Him. But there’s greater news than the battle: Jesus has the victory, and through Him the victory is also ours.

Why today? Why this post?

Allow me to reflect back on the very real presence of darkness during my few months here in Zambia alone as a 22-year-old blonde woman. I’m telling these stories in retrospect because maybe that’ll take some of the severity out of them when you know the outcome.

How did Jesus show me that there are only 2 teams, and that in Him I have victory, that no darkness can overcome the light? And that in Him there’s “abundant life?”

Laying in my bed hearing gunshots fired, dogs barking, at a break-in attempt a couple months back makes darkness very real. Fear. Panic. Helplessness. But Jesus is there in the darkness to strike His match of light and victory, to fight on my behalf. I didn’t have to be spared from what could’ve come from that night, but I firmly believe that it was Jesus graciously proving His power to me in my weakness and doubt.

Walking through a downtown market hearing the dehumanizing remarks, feeling the demoralizing stares at me as I walked through hundreds of people, I got a glimpse at just where women are placed in this society. I can’t say I know the bulk of it whatsoever, but I can say that despite my feeling to curl up in a ball in the alley next to a bucket of fish heads, Jesus said to my heart, “take My hand, You’re mine. These men cannot hurt the beauty I’ve created in your soul. No matter what happens, no matter what they say or do, these men cannot claim victory over what is Mine."

Riding out to Muchochoma today with Elina and Doreen, leaders of the CiH Ng’ombe group, and Elizabeth Zulu, leader of the CiH Muchochoma group, joy filled the air with laughs and smiles down that bumpy dirt road in anticipation of the first village payday. That is, until our driver took a turn too sharply, and the car spun out of control from side to side on the loose gravel. We miraculously (honestly) stopped just inches from a road gutter/ditch that would’ve probably cost us our lives, or at least weeks in a village clinic. We sat stunned.  After moments of shock, I began to think about how these 3 women with me are God’s provision for CiH, and that if something happened to us then what would come of our program here? Documents are signed by these women, cards in their names, and they’re established as leaders in their communities. It’s obviously not all about us, but it’s also obvious that Jesus wants us here pretty badly to carry out His work. When darkness seems thick, risk so high, Jesus proves His victory time and time again. Today I felt Him saying “these are MY daughters; nothing can touch them, not even the thief. I have the victory, and I have fought for them.”

There are countless stories of risk and fear in everyday life here in Zambia. But why fear when Jesus has made me victorious through Himself, and His complete defeat of darkness? Why worry when I know He’s holding my hand every single day I walk alone to the Ng’ombe slum compound?

When there are only 2 sides, I’m thankful that Jesus has redeemed me, forgiven me, pulled me out of my sin to be on the side of victory. But most of all, I’m thankful that I see more of Him every single day. And that He’s put me on this earth to love as I'm completely loved, by His grace alone.

ALL this for HIS glory.