Tomorrow's the day! I don't have much time to write on here so I'll just share a verse that my sweet, sweet friend Kym sent me just now. It's such an encouraging promise from the Lord for my life in Ghana these next 10 weeks and her life overseas as well.
"Look at the nations and watch- and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told." Habakkuk 1:5
So it's goodbye America and hello Ghana! It'll be so sweet to step back onto that African soil and I cannot wait! I'll be using this blog to keep y'all updated as frequently as I can. Please join me in praying for my time there with co-workers both local Ghanaians and American students. God's the same here as He is there and I'm looking forward to a summer of growth and great experiences!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
done
I wrote this journal entry on Good Friday and really wanted to share it with y'all. Usually my journal is filled with prayers but this particular entry is just a reflection of Truth, a reminder of who God is. So here it goes. Slightly frightening that you're about to read my real journal but I'm encouraged that God uses our vulnerability to allow His Spirit to work though us and others.
4/22.
Today Christ died for ME. God's Son- a part of the Trinity of God- let out a loud cry as He breathed His last breath, taking on the weight of sin of all people of the world for all time. We are called to lay it down. Come before the foot of the cross. God is just as disgusted with visual, blatant sins like immorality, gossip, murder, stealing, lying etc. as He is at my trying to "do good" or perform some sort of religious duties. Both of these deny the need for Christ and causes us to make Him out to be a liar. Christ died so we can stop trying to run away or earn righteousness. He died to bring us to God FOREVER, gift us with the Holy Spirit- God living inside of us- the very second we choose His life over our own. This Easter God's yelling "It's already been done! Stop trying! Just love me." Why do I require some sort of act to earn God when my debt has been paid in full 2000 years ago? It's not Old Testament times.
We live in a time of complete freedom in Christ. Free from animal sacrifices or striving for perfection or adhering to strict, seemingly unnecessary religious rules. This isn't an excuse to abuse the grace given to us through Christ's death and resurrection. Instead it's a motivator to love, to run into the arms of the One who saved us from eternal torture and has given us back a relationship with the Creator and Sustainer of the entire universe. It's a call to run to the cross, fall to our knees and cry out face down, repenting for trying to replace the need for Jesus. Would my life look different without Christ? I hope so. And I hope this is evident to others instead of masking it with some humanitarian, self-righteous facade. I am still just as sinful and gross and unworthy as before I allowed Christ to take the reigns of my life. Difference now is that through the blood of Christ God looks at me and sees Jesus! Not giving out bonus points for good deeds or slaps on the wrist for every little slip up. But He spares me eternal wrath and consequence of my sin by wrapping His arms around me just as He does to His Son. I am a child of God. I am covered by the sacrifice of Christ. My life is made to worship the One who pulled me out of darkness and has done this for all people of the world. To worship God for who He is rather than what He does in my life. God isn't just some personal counselor. He's in charge of all humanity, only seeking the worship of His people in return. And it's in that moment that we're able to be fully satisfied. Heaven isn't here but God lets us live with one foot in heaven by living a life devoted to Him, loving Him wholeheartedly.
I mess up. A lot. But instead of trying to pull myself up by my boot straps into some false righteousness, I just have to throw up my arms to give glory where its due- to the Almighty God. The Sovereign Lord who chose US to live NOW in the freedom of Christ. He did all the work. He took the pain. He bore the full wrath of God. He lived perfectly in all these things so we don't even have to try to. The response of the Gospel isn't complacency but obedience out of love. I wake up every morning in need of this reminder. Christianity isn't a cultural thing. It's a relationship with the God who saved YOUR soul forever, the One who sent His own Son to be sacrificed to take on the weight of the things we just can't seem to carry.
This Easter, God is telling me to stop trying. It's been done in full. I only owe a proper response- complete devotion and wholehearted love for my Savior. Every single person on this earth has been saved by Christ. Every single one. Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." What greater love is out there? I dare you to find one. And I know that you won't. The man who walked in front of my car in the drive-through lane? Christ died for him. His purpose in life is to worship God. The Holy Spirit- received upon acceptance of Christ- hit me upside the head when I saw this one man months back. One average, ordinary man. The Holy Spirit spoke to me to say that God loves THAT man. God sent Christ for THAT man. God's heart aches for THAT man to come back to Him. The divide between us and god has already been made right; it's no longer. Not by our efforts but by Christ alone. I pray that this soaks into the depths of my heart and changes how I live my everyday life, where I find my satisfaction, where I get my life motivation.
Christ ALONE has made the way. There is no other way. No longer can we complain that we're confused with the future or stress about what to do. God's made it obvious. Our purpose is to love God and worship Him with our lives. And we can do this at any place in any country with any group of people. He just wants our hearts and He'll take care of the rest.
4/22.
Today Christ died for ME. God's Son- a part of the Trinity of God- let out a loud cry as He breathed His last breath, taking on the weight of sin of all people of the world for all time. We are called to lay it down. Come before the foot of the cross. God is just as disgusted with visual, blatant sins like immorality, gossip, murder, stealing, lying etc. as He is at my trying to "do good" or perform some sort of religious duties. Both of these deny the need for Christ and causes us to make Him out to be a liar. Christ died so we can stop trying to run away or earn righteousness. He died to bring us to God FOREVER, gift us with the Holy Spirit- God living inside of us- the very second we choose His life over our own. This Easter God's yelling "It's already been done! Stop trying! Just love me." Why do I require some sort of act to earn God when my debt has been paid in full 2000 years ago? It's not Old Testament times.
We live in a time of complete freedom in Christ. Free from animal sacrifices or striving for perfection or adhering to strict, seemingly unnecessary religious rules. This isn't an excuse to abuse the grace given to us through Christ's death and resurrection. Instead it's a motivator to love, to run into the arms of the One who saved us from eternal torture and has given us back a relationship with the Creator and Sustainer of the entire universe. It's a call to run to the cross, fall to our knees and cry out face down, repenting for trying to replace the need for Jesus. Would my life look different without Christ? I hope so. And I hope this is evident to others instead of masking it with some humanitarian, self-righteous facade. I am still just as sinful and gross and unworthy as before I allowed Christ to take the reigns of my life. Difference now is that through the blood of Christ God looks at me and sees Jesus! Not giving out bonus points for good deeds or slaps on the wrist for every little slip up. But He spares me eternal wrath and consequence of my sin by wrapping His arms around me just as He does to His Son. I am a child of God. I am covered by the sacrifice of Christ. My life is made to worship the One who pulled me out of darkness and has done this for all people of the world. To worship God for who He is rather than what He does in my life. God isn't just some personal counselor. He's in charge of all humanity, only seeking the worship of His people in return. And it's in that moment that we're able to be fully satisfied. Heaven isn't here but God lets us live with one foot in heaven by living a life devoted to Him, loving Him wholeheartedly.
I mess up. A lot. But instead of trying to pull myself up by my boot straps into some false righteousness, I just have to throw up my arms to give glory where its due- to the Almighty God. The Sovereign Lord who chose US to live NOW in the freedom of Christ. He did all the work. He took the pain. He bore the full wrath of God. He lived perfectly in all these things so we don't even have to try to. The response of the Gospel isn't complacency but obedience out of love. I wake up every morning in need of this reminder. Christianity isn't a cultural thing. It's a relationship with the God who saved YOUR soul forever, the One who sent His own Son to be sacrificed to take on the weight of the things we just can't seem to carry.
This Easter, God is telling me to stop trying. It's been done in full. I only owe a proper response- complete devotion and wholehearted love for my Savior. Every single person on this earth has been saved by Christ. Every single one. Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." What greater love is out there? I dare you to find one. And I know that you won't. The man who walked in front of my car in the drive-through lane? Christ died for him. His purpose in life is to worship God. The Holy Spirit- received upon acceptance of Christ- hit me upside the head when I saw this one man months back. One average, ordinary man. The Holy Spirit spoke to me to say that God loves THAT man. God sent Christ for THAT man. God's heart aches for THAT man to come back to Him. The divide between us and god has already been made right; it's no longer. Not by our efforts but by Christ alone. I pray that this soaks into the depths of my heart and changes how I live my everyday life, where I find my satisfaction, where I get my life motivation.
Christ ALONE has made the way. There is no other way. No longer can we complain that we're confused with the future or stress about what to do. God's made it obvious. Our purpose is to love God and worship Him with our lives. And we can do this at any place in any country with any group of people. He just wants our hearts and He'll take care of the rest.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
friendship
God places people in our lives for a reason. I've always believed this but I thought it would only apply to the people who just seem to "fit" with me- high school friends, sorority sisters, etc. I think we tend to befriend those most similar to ourselves when really that limits us. Who knows if it'll be the drive-through cashier, quirky professor, or person sitting on the last row at church that will be the person to imprint our lives forever. For me it was at Copperbelt University in Kitwe, Zambia (about 7 hours bus ride from Lusaka). I'm sure you probably think I talk about Zambia way too much but truth is, I firmly believe it's still so present in my life because God wants it to be. And I think this story proves it.
We went to the University pretty much just hours after arriving in Lusaka from Chicago in hopes of sharing the Gospel: that we're sinful people separated from God, who sent His perfect, holy, blameless Son to take the wrath for all of our sins in order that we are able to be in friendship with the God of the Universe through Jesus Christ. We don't deserve this, but God chooses to extend grace to us as a gift. All it takes to enjoy this gift is to admit our sin and turn from it through proclaiming Jesus as the center of our lives. We don't have to become perfect, or be involved in 5 Bible Studies, or give money to the poor- though these things are sometimes an incredible way to express our love for God. Wellll way off subject but not really. Anyways, it was so humbling to be chosen to share this incredible news with college students at Copperbelt University to many of whom were involved with black magic and suffocating religion that forced them into a to-do list to "reach" God. I heard that Zambian people are amazingly welcoming but wouldn't believe it till I saw it. It was only a matter of hours before I saw it for what it really was.
I was invited into a college dorm room- if you can even call it that- that sleeps 6 with two twin beds and a mat on the floor. I couldn't imagine living in these conditions, much less thinking of them as luxuries. These students are the brightest and usually the wealthiest out of all students throughout Zambia. They have been waiting their entire lives to be at this University. This first room I was invited into I was given a spot of the bed to sit on and offered a glass of punch. The girls were fascinated with American culture and had so many questions. They were receptive to what we had to say and loved just talking about Christianity. It wasn't some battle of which view is right or wrong but instead an open forum for questions to gain a greater understanding of Truth. These particular girls are Chomba and Mwansa. They were so very hospitable and we just sat for over 3 hours laughing, reading through the Gospel, listening to Zambian music and even given dance lessons. I knew I wouldn't be able to forget these girls. We were invited back for more Zambian dancing and a homemade dinner of nshima and vegetables. But we were just strangers a few days back to them! When the Bible says to practice hospitality, that's what they did. And it was mind-blowing that these college women who had nothing but one suitcase for all semester were offering up their time and food to me.
This moment came and went quickly as we had to say our goodbyes to get back to Lusaka to our house there. I came back with a new Zambian pop CD and a couple of email addresses in hand. And that was it.
Around January, I really felt a tug on my heart to follow-up with the girls I had met just to see how I could be praying for them, maybe even offering some encouragement to them that had been so comforting to me throughout the roughness of fall semester. I didn't hear anything back for a while but then got emails from both girls! Again, I figured this would fizzle out but I was wrong. Just this morning I received an email from Chomba, one of many many emails that have gone back and forth. Sometimes we email everyday, sometimes a couple times a month. I thought it was my "job" to encourage Chomba but really she's been so encouraging to me. She's shown me the simplicities of the Gospel and the beauty of friendship. I thought Chomba and I were just two people writing letters to each other but failed to recognize that God had chosen us, thousands of miles apart and cultures apart, to be friends.
I would like to share part of her email from yesterday morning and this morning in hopes that you can also be inspired by the power of God to bring people together and to change hearts. Here are excerpts from that as her testimony. You may have to read it out loud to get the wording/phrasing of the email:
Yesterday:
Biologically m(I'm) an omly(only) child my parents died when i was very young. I
have stayed i alot of home and treated differently, mostly bad, but i
guess it was Gods plan so that i can be a better person.
M(I'm) currently staying with an uncle and auntie who i have grown to
acacept as my parents, M related to my uncle but m more close to the
wife than him.
I have grown up to please people owez(always) because like that they will
accpt you in their families, I have to work hard at sku(school) for them to
continue footing my school bills, i have to work hard at home to
impress them so that im accepted,,,,blah,blah.
Thank God m findng myself now, but the life i have gone thru has
taught me to be kind and loving.
i want o finish my sku(school) and be independent and support my
siblings, i have a passion in sewing and i wnt to take it up seriously
wen m done wit sku. I wnt to found a home for the homeless boys, bcoz(because)
i blive(believe) if we take care of the boy child there will be less crime on
the streets.
I wnt to find a loving man who i can get married to later.
Today:
Hey swt friend, i pray that God continues to guide you in your ways
and in everything you do so that i can continue having a great friend
that i haave in you.
Imagine wen i went to college i met a guy who
taught me all the bad things that there is. He used to tell me that it
cant be life if m always thinking about other people but me.
He left me when he started doing fine in life and told me he wasnt my
class. I went through a patch of self pity and often felt so ugly and
lost my self esteem the more. Afterwards i met a christian guy who
couldnt forgive my past and kept reminding me of my past, he used to
encourage me to seek God and i later realised, probably God sent him
to me for that purpose. We broke up just after some months.
Right now i wnt to devote my life to God alone.
Let's work to get back to the first love, there we will see Jesus
speaking right in our faces and we will hear him clearly.
I thank God for your family and will continue praying that He
continues being with you.
Love YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
It's a beautiful thing to see how God has been radically working in her heart even since I met her last summer and how He's used us in each others' lives. She's been able to speak so much truth to me as I have to her, and we both are able to push each other towards Christ. Pen pals? I guess you could say that. But sisters in Christ? Absolutely. And I'm beyond grateful for her life. Please pray for Chomba, living a completely different life than any can imagine here but struggling with the same heart issues as all of us. We all serve the same God no matter what country we're in. Praise God that He knows it all and that His timing is beyond perfect.
We went to the University pretty much just hours after arriving in Lusaka from Chicago in hopes of sharing the Gospel: that we're sinful people separated from God, who sent His perfect, holy, blameless Son to take the wrath for all of our sins in order that we are able to be in friendship with the God of the Universe through Jesus Christ. We don't deserve this, but God chooses to extend grace to us as a gift. All it takes to enjoy this gift is to admit our sin and turn from it through proclaiming Jesus as the center of our lives. We don't have to become perfect, or be involved in 5 Bible Studies, or give money to the poor- though these things are sometimes an incredible way to express our love for God. Wellll way off subject but not really. Anyways, it was so humbling to be chosen to share this incredible news with college students at Copperbelt University to many of whom were involved with black magic and suffocating religion that forced them into a to-do list to "reach" God. I heard that Zambian people are amazingly welcoming but wouldn't believe it till I saw it. It was only a matter of hours before I saw it for what it really was.
I was invited into a college dorm room- if you can even call it that- that sleeps 6 with two twin beds and a mat on the floor. I couldn't imagine living in these conditions, much less thinking of them as luxuries. These students are the brightest and usually the wealthiest out of all students throughout Zambia. They have been waiting their entire lives to be at this University. This first room I was invited into I was given a spot of the bed to sit on and offered a glass of punch. The girls were fascinated with American culture and had so many questions. They were receptive to what we had to say and loved just talking about Christianity. It wasn't some battle of which view is right or wrong but instead an open forum for questions to gain a greater understanding of Truth. These particular girls are Chomba and Mwansa. They were so very hospitable and we just sat for over 3 hours laughing, reading through the Gospel, listening to Zambian music and even given dance lessons. I knew I wouldn't be able to forget these girls. We were invited back for more Zambian dancing and a homemade dinner of nshima and vegetables. But we were just strangers a few days back to them! When the Bible says to practice hospitality, that's what they did. And it was mind-blowing that these college women who had nothing but one suitcase for all semester were offering up their time and food to me.
This moment came and went quickly as we had to say our goodbyes to get back to Lusaka to our house there. I came back with a new Zambian pop CD and a couple of email addresses in hand. And that was it.
Around January, I really felt a tug on my heart to follow-up with the girls I had met just to see how I could be praying for them, maybe even offering some encouragement to them that had been so comforting to me throughout the roughness of fall semester. I didn't hear anything back for a while but then got emails from both girls! Again, I figured this would fizzle out but I was wrong. Just this morning I received an email from Chomba, one of many many emails that have gone back and forth. Sometimes we email everyday, sometimes a couple times a month. I thought it was my "job" to encourage Chomba but really she's been so encouraging to me. She's shown me the simplicities of the Gospel and the beauty of friendship. I thought Chomba and I were just two people writing letters to each other but failed to recognize that God had chosen us, thousands of miles apart and cultures apart, to be friends.
I would like to share part of her email from yesterday morning and this morning in hopes that you can also be inspired by the power of God to bring people together and to change hearts. Here are excerpts from that as her testimony. You may have to read it out loud to get the wording/phrasing of the email:
Yesterday:
Biologically m(I'm) an omly(only) child my parents died when i was very young. I
have stayed i alot of home and treated differently, mostly bad, but i
guess it was Gods plan so that i can be a better person.
M(I'm) currently staying with an uncle and auntie who i have grown to
acacept as my parents, M related to my uncle but m more close to the
wife than him.
I have grown up to please people owez(always) because like that they will
accpt you in their families, I have to work hard at sku(school) for them to
continue footing my school bills, i have to work hard at home to
impress them so that im accepted,,,,blah,blah.
Thank God m findng myself now, but the life i have gone thru has
taught me to be kind and loving.
i want o finish my sku(school) and be independent and support my
siblings, i have a passion in sewing and i wnt to take it up seriously
wen m done wit sku. I wnt to found a home for the homeless boys, bcoz(because)
i blive(believe) if we take care of the boy child there will be less crime on
the streets.
I wnt to find a loving man who i can get married to later.
Today:
Hey swt friend, i pray that God continues to guide you in your ways
and in everything you do so that i can continue having a great friend
that i haave in you.
Imagine wen i went to college i met a guy who
taught me all the bad things that there is. He used to tell me that it
cant be life if m always thinking about other people but me.
He left me when he started doing fine in life and told me he wasnt my
class. I went through a patch of self pity and often felt so ugly and
lost my self esteem the more. Afterwards i met a christian guy who
couldnt forgive my past and kept reminding me of my past, he used to
encourage me to seek God and i later realised, probably God sent him
to me for that purpose. We broke up just after some months.
Right now i wnt to devote my life to God alone.
Let's work to get back to the first love, there we will see Jesus
speaking right in our faces and we will hear him clearly.
I thank God for your family and will continue praying that He
continues being with you.
Love YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
It's a beautiful thing to see how God has been radically working in her heart even since I met her last summer and how He's used us in each others' lives. She's been able to speak so much truth to me as I have to her, and we both are able to push each other towards Christ. Pen pals? I guess you could say that. But sisters in Christ? Absolutely. And I'm beyond grateful for her life. Please pray for Chomba, living a completely different life than any can imagine here but struggling with the same heart issues as all of us. We all serve the same God no matter what country we're in. Praise God that He knows it all and that His timing is beyond perfect.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
wisdom
I was blessed to go to my church's spring break mission trip to Philadelphia last week and was hit by the immense need that is present even in our own country. Gangs, drugs, irrational violence, darkness like I've never seen before. And I'm sure it exists in Columbia too but so often do I believe that where I live and the people I interact with are the "norm." They're not. People in my own city are homeless, starving, living in poverty. So God wrecked me by showing me the need for service here and that His love is the only love that people need. God doesn't want more Christians, He wants more lovers of Himself. He wants people to abandon all and live the most fulfilled life through what Christ has already done- wiped away every sin from our record. Incredible truth. And something to be reminded of everyday.
I've been going through "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers but was a bitttt too busy to sit down and read it during the trip. So I sat down one afternoon and read back through the days I missed and came across some heart-awakening quotes. They encouraged and challenged me so I figured I'd share. It looks like a lot but it's all great stuff so stick with it.
God LOVES you.
March 7:
The bedrock of our Christian faith is the unmerited, fathomless marvel of the love of God exhibited on the Cross of Calvary, a love we can and never shall merit. Paul says this is the reason we are more than conquerors in all these things, super-victors, with a joy we would not have but for the very things which look like they are going to overwhelm us. The surf that distresses the ordinary swimmer produces in the surf-rider the super-joy of going clean through it. Apply that to our own circumstance, these very things- tribulation, distress, persecution, produce in us the super-joy; they are not things to fight. We are more than conquerors through Him in all these things, not in spite of them but in the midst of them.
Undaunted radiance is not built on anything passing, but on the love of God that nothing can alter. The experiences of life, terrible or monotonous, are impotent to touch the love of God, which is Christ Jesus our Lord.
March 8:
Am I willing to relinquish my hold on all I possess, my hold on my affections, and on everything, and to be identified with the death of Jesus Christ?
If you are up against the question of relinquishing, go through the crisis, relinquishing all, and God will make you fit for all that He requires of you.
March 9:
If God gives a clear and emphatic realization to your soul of what He wants, do not try to keep yourself in that relationship by any particular method, but live a natural life of absolute dependence on Jesus Christ.
March 10:
The natural heart will do any amount of serving, but it takes the heart broken by conviction of sin, and baptized by the Holy Spirit, and crumpled into the purpose of God before the life becomes the sacrament of its message.
March 11:
“Though it tarry, wait for it.” We cannot attain to a vision; we must live in the inspiration of it until it accomplishes itself. We get so practical that we forget the vision. At the beginning we saw it but did not wait for it; we rushed off into practical work, and when the vision was fulfilled, we did not see it. Waiting for the vision that tarries is the test of our loyalty to God. It is at the peril of our soul’s welfare that we get caught up in the practical work and miss the fulfillment of the vision.
March 12:
If we only give up something to God because we want more back, there is nothing of the Holy Spirit in our abandonment; it is miserable commercial self-interest. That we gain heaven, that we are delivered from sin, that we are made useful to God- these things never enter as considerations into real abandonment, which is a personal sovereign preference for Jesus Christ Himself.
March 13:
My experimental knowledge of salvation will be along the line of deliverance from sin and of personal holiness; but salvation means that the Spirit of God has brought me into touch with God’s personality, and I am thrilled with something infinitely greater than myself; I am caught up into the abandonment of God.
Abandonment never produces the consciousness of its own effort, because the whole life is taken up with the One to Whom we abandon.
I've been going through "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers but was a bitttt too busy to sit down and read it during the trip. So I sat down one afternoon and read back through the days I missed and came across some heart-awakening quotes. They encouraged and challenged me so I figured I'd share. It looks like a lot but it's all great stuff so stick with it.
God LOVES you.
March 7:
The bedrock of our Christian faith is the unmerited, fathomless marvel of the love of God exhibited on the Cross of Calvary, a love we can and never shall merit. Paul says this is the reason we are more than conquerors in all these things, super-victors, with a joy we would not have but for the very things which look like they are going to overwhelm us. The surf that distresses the ordinary swimmer produces in the surf-rider the super-joy of going clean through it. Apply that to our own circumstance, these very things- tribulation, distress, persecution, produce in us the super-joy; they are not things to fight. We are more than conquerors through Him in all these things, not in spite of them but in the midst of them.
Undaunted radiance is not built on anything passing, but on the love of God that nothing can alter. The experiences of life, terrible or monotonous, are impotent to touch the love of God, which is Christ Jesus our Lord.
March 8:
Am I willing to relinquish my hold on all I possess, my hold on my affections, and on everything, and to be identified with the death of Jesus Christ?
If you are up against the question of relinquishing, go through the crisis, relinquishing all, and God will make you fit for all that He requires of you.
March 9:
If God gives a clear and emphatic realization to your soul of what He wants, do not try to keep yourself in that relationship by any particular method, but live a natural life of absolute dependence on Jesus Christ.
March 10:
The natural heart will do any amount of serving, but it takes the heart broken by conviction of sin, and baptized by the Holy Spirit, and crumpled into the purpose of God before the life becomes the sacrament of its message.
March 11:
“Though it tarry, wait for it.” We cannot attain to a vision; we must live in the inspiration of it until it accomplishes itself. We get so practical that we forget the vision. At the beginning we saw it but did not wait for it; we rushed off into practical work, and when the vision was fulfilled, we did not see it. Waiting for the vision that tarries is the test of our loyalty to God. It is at the peril of our soul’s welfare that we get caught up in the practical work and miss the fulfillment of the vision.
March 12:
If we only give up something to God because we want more back, there is nothing of the Holy Spirit in our abandonment; it is miserable commercial self-interest. That we gain heaven, that we are delivered from sin, that we are made useful to God- these things never enter as considerations into real abandonment, which is a personal sovereign preference for Jesus Christ Himself.
March 13:
My experimental knowledge of salvation will be along the line of deliverance from sin and of personal holiness; but salvation means that the Spirit of God has brought me into touch with God’s personality, and I am thrilled with something infinitely greater than myself; I am caught up into the abandonment of God.
Abandonment never produces the consciousness of its own effort, because the whole life is taken up with the One to Whom we abandon.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
humbled
Today an article came out in the Daily Gamecock, USC's student newspaper, featuring Clothed in Hope on the front page. Blessing. A sweet, sweet sorority sister called on Sunday wanting to interview me and write up an article about everything that's been going on over the past month, as well as my plans for the future with this whole nonprofit adventure. Excitement filled me up inside in anticipation of so many more people learning about the cause and hopefully supporting it in the future. But with that came some strange feeling inside. Not doubt, not fear, but some sort of timidity. It rested on my heart like a shadow and I was determined to pray to the bottom of it.
Humility.
"For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted." Matthew 23:12
That was it. My heart feared becoming proud through this exposure. It's so easy to see this as a promotional opportunity for myself but who do I live for? Myself or for Christ? My purpose in life is to make Christ famous and lift HIS name higher. So with that comes lowering the name of Amy Woodell.
Clothed in Hope is a work of the Lord. After all, what have I really done? I've signed a paper, spent 20 minutes in a bank, researched some, sewn a bunch of shirts, brainstormed some, dreamed more. That's it! Big woop! God is so obviously working through this by opening doors, establishing valuable connections, providing opportunities to share the need, breaking my heart daily for these women, creating a stir that I couldn't have created on my own. People are walking into my life who I could've never found on my own. Doors are just flying open and I'm holding on for the ride of my life. As I sat in my car in the parking lot before class this morning, I opened the package with my official paperwork from the Secretary of State of North Carolina and I could barely breathe. I just became so overwhelmed and in awe of God's grace. Of His provision. Of the ability to cultivate a humble heart within me. And most of all, that none of this was of me. I sat humbled. Not just because of what God's done in my life over the past month, year or even since freshman year; but mostly because of WHO GOD IS. The second I surrendered and stepped out of the way, God slipped in to work His magic and let His plan unfold before my eyes. How insignificant am I?! The same God who has done all this, who is my purpose in life, who changes lives and heals lives, is the same God who could do this in and through any other person. For Clothed in Hope, He chose me.
But what has He chosen you for?
Humility.
"For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted." Matthew 23:12
That was it. My heart feared becoming proud through this exposure. It's so easy to see this as a promotional opportunity for myself but who do I live for? Myself or for Christ? My purpose in life is to make Christ famous and lift HIS name higher. So with that comes lowering the name of Amy Woodell.
Clothed in Hope is a work of the Lord. After all, what have I really done? I've signed a paper, spent 20 minutes in a bank, researched some, sewn a bunch of shirts, brainstormed some, dreamed more. That's it! Big woop! God is so obviously working through this by opening doors, establishing valuable connections, providing opportunities to share the need, breaking my heart daily for these women, creating a stir that I couldn't have created on my own. People are walking into my life who I could've never found on my own. Doors are just flying open and I'm holding on for the ride of my life. As I sat in my car in the parking lot before class this morning, I opened the package with my official paperwork from the Secretary of State of North Carolina and I could barely breathe. I just became so overwhelmed and in awe of God's grace. Of His provision. Of the ability to cultivate a humble heart within me. And most of all, that none of this was of me. I sat humbled. Not just because of what God's done in my life over the past month, year or even since freshman year; but mostly because of WHO GOD IS. The second I surrendered and stepped out of the way, God slipped in to work His magic and let His plan unfold before my eyes. How insignificant am I?! The same God who has done all this, who is my purpose in life, who changes lives and heals lives, is the same God who could do this in and through any other person. For Clothed in Hope, He chose me.
But what has He chosen you for?
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
He knew.
What a journey this has been already. If you would've told me six months ago that this is where I'd be, I would've told you that you're crazy. Ever since I returned home from Zambia, I thought I'd have to either give up my passion for Africa or my apparent calling to the fashion industry. But He knew.
God knew all along that He had placed these passions in my heart to come together to bring Him the most glory. Through a last-minute fashion show volunteer position, I discovered that this dream placed in my heart of connecting women through textiles in order to alleviate poverty wasn't so far-fetched. When I first thought of the idea and shared it with a few people, I prefaced it with "I know this probably sounds insane." I really felt like God planted this idea in my mind: to share my knowledge of fashion and sewing, employing women in poverty in Africa to make garments to be sold to Americans. Women across cultural boundaries, across economic statuses aren't that different at all. And that was the primary vision for this whole thing. That through the purchase of a garment, it's not just giving money to a woman but it's giving her hope while recognizing that you two aren't too different at all. She was born in Africa, you were born in America. This characteristic is one we can't control or change but rather one we react to and shape our lives around. The woman across the ocean still suffers from insecurity, still wants to be loved, admired and adored. She still values deep friendships and faith. She also suffers and goes through seasons of intense hardship. Maybe this isn't in the form of cancer but it could be losing a child to a disease or her husband to AIDS before his 40th birthday. The heartbreak is just as intense.
After connecting with organizations from the cultural awareness fashion show who seem to already be living my dream, I couldn't erase the thought in my mind. The "Aha" moment is still so vivid in my mind. I was at Jimmy Johns (typical college student, right?) to grab a late dinner with some other fashion show volunteers and was just bursting at the seams. I didn't feel hunger, I only felt this overwhelming urge to scream to the world that God knew! He knew how to merge these passions together to make His name famous. I called my parents in that Jimmy Johns and spilled my guts- I just had to share with someone! I can't remember anything specifically that I said but I will forever remember that feeling of complete joy and fulfillment in Christ.
The rest of last semester was just a tug-of-war, between discerning my desires and God's desires for this. Do I team up with someone else? Do I work stateside? Do I give it all up? Do I attempt it all on my own? But God was incredibly faithful in His promises to me, speaking so sweetly to my heart and making things clearer by the day. On January 21 of this year I remember sitting in my room with my roommate just throwing out this crazy idea of starting a nonprofit on my own with the freedom to sculpt the organization into what I really felt God wanted, in the location I felt called to. We threw out a few names, screamed a bit (well, I did at least), and that's when the decision was made! Clothed in Hope was beginning. I didn't know how, didn't have any means to make it happen but I know that there's nothing more exciting than trusting God with everything. So that I did, and that I'm still doing today.
It's been one month. Already God's provision has blown me away. I'm watching these doors fly open and all I have to do is walk through them. All I have to do is say "yes" to what He's calling me to. Already I've sold tshirts and have an overwhelming amount of orders, already I have an etsy account (clothedinhope.etsy.com), already I have a bank account under CLOTHED IN HOPE, already I've filed Articles of Incorporation, already I have a working website (clothedinhope.org), already I've been asked for the method of donations. ALREADY! It's been one month... that's it.
If you don't have chills, I have enough for you right now. I wake up everyday so humbled that God's chosen to use ME for this task. He's chosen to use me to "defend the weak and the fatherless, uphold the cause of the poor and oppressed; rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked." He's chosen some 21 year old sorority girl, who had a crazy freshman year but was rescued by her Savior, and who has failed time and time again, to carry His name to lift up the name of Jesus to the people He loves. It's hard to think about all of this sometimes. Scary even. But I can rest knowing that God's faithfulness endures forever. If it's the plan, it'll happen according to His will in His timing. I am not a part of this equation whatsoever. I'm merely a facilitator of His dream; His dream to see all people return to the cross in loving Him completely.
in awe.
&
fully His.
God knew all along that He had placed these passions in my heart to come together to bring Him the most glory. Through a last-minute fashion show volunteer position, I discovered that this dream placed in my heart of connecting women through textiles in order to alleviate poverty wasn't so far-fetched. When I first thought of the idea and shared it with a few people, I prefaced it with "I know this probably sounds insane." I really felt like God planted this idea in my mind: to share my knowledge of fashion and sewing, employing women in poverty in Africa to make garments to be sold to Americans. Women across cultural boundaries, across economic statuses aren't that different at all. And that was the primary vision for this whole thing. That through the purchase of a garment, it's not just giving money to a woman but it's giving her hope while recognizing that you two aren't too different at all. She was born in Africa, you were born in America. This characteristic is one we can't control or change but rather one we react to and shape our lives around. The woman across the ocean still suffers from insecurity, still wants to be loved, admired and adored. She still values deep friendships and faith. She also suffers and goes through seasons of intense hardship. Maybe this isn't in the form of cancer but it could be losing a child to a disease or her husband to AIDS before his 40th birthday. The heartbreak is just as intense.
After connecting with organizations from the cultural awareness fashion show who seem to already be living my dream, I couldn't erase the thought in my mind. The "Aha" moment is still so vivid in my mind. I was at Jimmy Johns (typical college student, right?) to grab a late dinner with some other fashion show volunteers and was just bursting at the seams. I didn't feel hunger, I only felt this overwhelming urge to scream to the world that God knew! He knew how to merge these passions together to make His name famous. I called my parents in that Jimmy Johns and spilled my guts- I just had to share with someone! I can't remember anything specifically that I said but I will forever remember that feeling of complete joy and fulfillment in Christ.
The rest of last semester was just a tug-of-war, between discerning my desires and God's desires for this. Do I team up with someone else? Do I work stateside? Do I give it all up? Do I attempt it all on my own? But God was incredibly faithful in His promises to me, speaking so sweetly to my heart and making things clearer by the day. On January 21 of this year I remember sitting in my room with my roommate just throwing out this crazy idea of starting a nonprofit on my own with the freedom to sculpt the organization into what I really felt God wanted, in the location I felt called to. We threw out a few names, screamed a bit (well, I did at least), and that's when the decision was made! Clothed in Hope was beginning. I didn't know how, didn't have any means to make it happen but I know that there's nothing more exciting than trusting God with everything. So that I did, and that I'm still doing today.
It's been one month. Already God's provision has blown me away. I'm watching these doors fly open and all I have to do is walk through them. All I have to do is say "yes" to what He's calling me to. Already I've sold tshirts and have an overwhelming amount of orders, already I have an etsy account (clothedinhope.etsy.com), already I have a bank account under CLOTHED IN HOPE, already I've filed Articles of Incorporation, already I have a working website (clothedinhope.org), already I've been asked for the method of donations. ALREADY! It's been one month... that's it.
If you don't have chills, I have enough for you right now. I wake up everyday so humbled that God's chosen to use ME for this task. He's chosen to use me to "defend the weak and the fatherless, uphold the cause of the poor and oppressed; rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked." He's chosen some 21 year old sorority girl, who had a crazy freshman year but was rescued by her Savior, and who has failed time and time again, to carry His name to lift up the name of Jesus to the people He loves. It's hard to think about all of this sometimes. Scary even. But I can rest knowing that God's faithfulness endures forever. If it's the plan, it'll happen according to His will in His timing. I am not a part of this equation whatsoever. I'm merely a facilitator of His dream; His dream to see all people return to the cross in loving Him completely.
in awe.
&
fully His.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Witness
God desires for us to worship Him to glorify Him out of JOY and THANKSGIVING, not duty or obligation. No praise will come flowing out genuinely if we don't grasp this. If you've been around the "church scene" you may be thinking duh, heard this already. But think about it! It's a constant battle to reject that insecurity that may slip in by not "doing enough" or by looking at your identity in the Lord and someone else's and seeing dissonance. Let me preface this post by saying that this is by no means an excuse to sit back and be lazy... we shouldn't want to be anyways! But instead, it's a proclamation of freedom from the burden of busyness.
In John Piper's Let the Nations Be Glad, he writes, "God is glorified precisely when we are satisfied in Him- when we delight in His presence, when we like to be around Him, when we treasure His fellowship. This is an utterly life-changing discovery. It frees us to pursue our joy in God and God to pursue His glory in us because they are not two different pursuits. God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him."
Now usually I read this famous phrase of John's, a message of the Lord of course, and think that it means the "better" my Christian walk is, the "closest" I feel to the Lord, the more capable I am of being most satisfied in Him. But it hit me last Wednesday. I can only be MOST satisfied in Him when I recognize my extreme insignificance in this world.
As a Greek at Carolina, we have a unique ministry that has proven to be such a blessing to me and to thousands of Greek students here. It's called Greek Impact and meets once a month with a youth group style meeting: game, prizes, speaker, usually a fun video too. This month a fraternity man who's now on staff with Greeks at UT came all the way to speak to us and share a beautiful message. I can't remember the details of this message, couldn't even give you a full summary because I was just praying my guts out. As a community, we've faced persecution like never before in our Greek system. Not beatings and torture persecution, but just feeling a bit isolated, unable to initiate in the outreach things like we used to. And it's every house it seems. No more praying in chapter meetings, no more verses in chapter meetings, and the list goes on. So needless to say we've all felt a bit ineffective this semester. A war is being waged because we're all standing boldly in our faith, and satan doesn't particularly like that. Anyways, I diverge. I doubted the "success" of our meeting because of this barrier that's been built up against us. I didn't think the meeting was capable of producing fruit. I feared the blunt-ness of the speaker, thinking it would offend and turn away these 300-some people who came. I'm not a fan of the Gospel all wrapped in a bow so this attitude was a bit unusual for me, but Wednesday I just wasn't feeling too hopeful.
As some of you may have read in my Zambia blog, God has continually met me when I feel most inadequate. He performs miracles to show that He's the One to be glorified, not the actions or the carriers of those actions. God loves surprising us! And that He did on Wednesday night in my own sorority house. With every head bowed, we closed in prayer but Hank, the speaker, did something I don't think we've done before. He did the alter-call thing, asking students to just look up at him if they wanted a breakthrough in their lives, if they wanted to give it all up to our Savior. With that he paused and then spoke, "welcome to the family of God." I had to grin a little bit. God moved and brought a life into the light when I was doubting! So incredibly powerful and faithful! ...Of course it's not enough to stop there. Over the next few minutes with every head bowed, perfectly silent in the room except for maybe a few sniffles we heard "welcome to the family of God; welcome to the family of God; welcome to the family of God." And it continued. I thought for sure this was just to hype people up. To fake it that other people were making that decision just so others felt comfortable to do so. But this wasn't the case at all!! Every single "welcome to the family of God" brought chills up my arms, tears to my eyes, and a heart bursting with praise for the Sovereign Lord.
Twenty Five. If you didn't catch that, 25!!!, students took the step of faith to invite Jesus to perform a breakthrough in their lives. And in that moment, God was glorified. Not because I was doing anything. But because I was nothing; merely a witness. Because I was marveling in the vastness of His splendor, in awe of His timing and His miracles. God is MOST glorified in us when we recognize we're nothing and that He's everything.
incredible.
In John Piper's Let the Nations Be Glad, he writes, "God is glorified precisely when we are satisfied in Him- when we delight in His presence, when we like to be around Him, when we treasure His fellowship. This is an utterly life-changing discovery. It frees us to pursue our joy in God and God to pursue His glory in us because they are not two different pursuits. God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him."
Now usually I read this famous phrase of John's, a message of the Lord of course, and think that it means the "better" my Christian walk is, the "closest" I feel to the Lord, the more capable I am of being most satisfied in Him. But it hit me last Wednesday. I can only be MOST satisfied in Him when I recognize my extreme insignificance in this world.
As a Greek at Carolina, we have a unique ministry that has proven to be such a blessing to me and to thousands of Greek students here. It's called Greek Impact and meets once a month with a youth group style meeting: game, prizes, speaker, usually a fun video too. This month a fraternity man who's now on staff with Greeks at UT came all the way to speak to us and share a beautiful message. I can't remember the details of this message, couldn't even give you a full summary because I was just praying my guts out. As a community, we've faced persecution like never before in our Greek system. Not beatings and torture persecution, but just feeling a bit isolated, unable to initiate in the outreach things like we used to. And it's every house it seems. No more praying in chapter meetings, no more verses in chapter meetings, and the list goes on. So needless to say we've all felt a bit ineffective this semester. A war is being waged because we're all standing boldly in our faith, and satan doesn't particularly like that. Anyways, I diverge. I doubted the "success" of our meeting because of this barrier that's been built up against us. I didn't think the meeting was capable of producing fruit. I feared the blunt-ness of the speaker, thinking it would offend and turn away these 300-some people who came. I'm not a fan of the Gospel all wrapped in a bow so this attitude was a bit unusual for me, but Wednesday I just wasn't feeling too hopeful.
As some of you may have read in my Zambia blog, God has continually met me when I feel most inadequate. He performs miracles to show that He's the One to be glorified, not the actions or the carriers of those actions. God loves surprising us! And that He did on Wednesday night in my own sorority house. With every head bowed, we closed in prayer but Hank, the speaker, did something I don't think we've done before. He did the alter-call thing, asking students to just look up at him if they wanted a breakthrough in their lives, if they wanted to give it all up to our Savior. With that he paused and then spoke, "welcome to the family of God." I had to grin a little bit. God moved and brought a life into the light when I was doubting! So incredibly powerful and faithful! ...Of course it's not enough to stop there. Over the next few minutes with every head bowed, perfectly silent in the room except for maybe a few sniffles we heard "welcome to the family of God; welcome to the family of God; welcome to the family of God." And it continued. I thought for sure this was just to hype people up. To fake it that other people were making that decision just so others felt comfortable to do so. But this wasn't the case at all!! Every single "welcome to the family of God" brought chills up my arms, tears to my eyes, and a heart bursting with praise for the Sovereign Lord.
Twenty Five. If you didn't catch that, 25!!!, students took the step of faith to invite Jesus to perform a breakthrough in their lives. And in that moment, God was glorified. Not because I was doing anything. But because I was nothing; merely a witness. Because I was marveling in the vastness of His splendor, in awe of His timing and His miracles. God is MOST glorified in us when we recognize we're nothing and that He's everything.
incredible.
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